Episode 10 - When You Feel Like Giving Up

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Download Episode 10 Reflection Guide

Show Notes:

Summary

There are seasons where you’re still showing up…but you’re not sure how much longer you can keep going.

Not because you’ve lost your faith. Not because you don’t care.

But because you’re tired in a way that’s hard to explain.

In this episode of Glory & Grit, Stephanie talks about the kind of exhaustion that comes after a long season of pressure, stretching, and responsibility—and what it looks like to keep going when you feel worn down.

This isn’t about pushing harder or pretending you’re fine.

It’s about naming the quiet moments where giving up starts to feel reasonable…and choosing, one day at a time, not to walk away

Key Topics

• Spiritual and emotional exhaustion

• When growth turns into pressure

• The slow drift toward giving up

• Staying when you feel worn down

• Faith in quiet, heavy seasons

• Not quitting in your most tired moment

Takeaways

• Why exhaustion doesn’t mean you’re failing

• How “giving up” often happens gradually, not all at once

• The difference between needing rest and wanting to quit

• What continuing actually looks like in hard seasons

• Why you shouldn’t make big decisions when you’re worn down

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Transcript:

Stephanie (00:00)

You don't suddenly ⁓ stop believing. You just stop having the energy to keep believing the same way.

Hi friend, this is Glory and Grit, where faith meets real life. Welcome back, or if you are new to the podcast, welcome in. May I point out that you might want to start with the first few episodes where we talk about the heart behind Glory and Grit. I'm your host, Stephanie, and you know what? I'm really glad you're here.

Are you ready for this week's journey?

All right, let's talk about it.

last episode, we talked about what it feels like when God stretches you. When things feel uncomfortable, when there's a lot of pressure and tension.

when you know that you're growing.

but nobody really talks about what happens when the stretching doesn't stop.

when it's not just a moment anymore, it's a whole season. And instead of feeling stronger, you're just feeling kind of worn down. And you're not walking away.

but you're quietly wondering how much longer can you keep going? How much more of this can you take?

That space right there? That's where we are today.

We hear a lot about growth, but we don't always hear.

as much about how exhausting it can be. And at the beginning, you know, there's clarity, you've got a purpose and you feel strong about it. You're being obedient. So it feels like you're doing something meaningful, but over time it kind of gets to be repetitive. And then it gets a little quiet and things start to feel really heavy on you. And

what started out as purpose can start to feel a little like pressure and what felt meaningful at one time can now start to feel like maintenance, repetitive maintenance, you know. There's a version of growth that

doesn't feel inspiring. It just feels like we're carrying something for longer than you thought you'd have to, right? So exhaustion doesn't just make you tired. It changes how you think, how you perceive things. Things that...

start to feel heavier than they originally did. Where you were very hopeful at one point, now it kind of seems a little further away than it really is actually, but you feel like it is. And then those little small things that used to, ⁓ now they're starting to feel like, ugh, you know, like they're really starting to feel like a lot.

You don't suddenly ⁓ stop believing. You just stop having the energy to keep believing the same way.

And that's a hard place to admit because nothing is wrong technically.

So it's not a crisis, it's an erosion.

I remember seasons where I was put in a position that I honestly felt was bigger than myself, way bigger than me. And the most recent one is when I was asked to serve as mission nurse.

And no, I'm not a nurse. ⁓ And just a point of thought, that's called a mission medical coordinator. You're not actually a nurse.

From the very beginning, this was something that felt very scary for me. And when I was asked, I thought, you know, I'm willing to serve, I'm willing to do what the Lord is asking me to do. ⁓ But then when we got to Ghana and I actually started, I was just a wreck. I...

I did not want to do it. If I'm to be honest here, I did not want to do it. I wanted to pack my little bags and go back home. There were many tears shed and not for hating it, but because

It was outside of my comfort zone. It was not what I had asked to do. It was what had been asked of me. And when I started to do it, I realized it was way bigger than what I was and what I felt I was capable of doing at that time. We're talking about people getting sick.

They're handling emergencies. And I mean, this is where things can really go wrong because being sick here in the States, ⁓ it's a different kind of thing being sick over there than being sick here. There are different ⁓ types of...

⁓ medical situations that this could create. A simple sickness over here, over there could create a different type of circumstances. And you have to know that and you have to know how to react. And I just remember...

Like the first few months we were there, got sent to, mind you now, we don't even know where we are in the first place there. But then we got sent to an area.

that was two hours away from where we were. So we didn't even know that location. Now we're going two hours away to another location to go to a hospital to check on one of our missionaries. And then mind you, while I'm at the hospital with him, I'm still having to take calls on the other missionaries and their health, you know, and.

There were, there are times when you have three and four calls at one time and sometimes all three can be an emergency or can be a really...

not emergency like how we say here emergency, but an emergency over there like it's really important. It's really an important sickness that needs attention immediately. There are no ambulances over there where we were. And so, ⁓

You know, sometimes I would have three calls going on at one time. Sometimes I'd be talking on the phone through one emergency. You know, where we were there could be a broken foot possibility and then texting another one on a different emergency, putting another one on hold for a different emergency all at the same time. And so it was a lot of having to keep up with what was happening in the immediate.

timing and sometimes that was kind of that was impossible kind of hard to do and I just remember thinking this is not I'm not supposed to be doing this I cannot keep this up for an entire two years I just can't I

I cried, I'll tell you honestly, I cried many nights. And in my mind, I threatened to pack my bags and go home many times. I remember this had to have been maybe, I don't know, maybe a year, year and a half in. We were gonna be there for 23 months, so this had to be at least a year in.

I remember it being my turn to lead the spiritual thought for the meeting. And I remember bringing this up again and crying in the meeting. And it was so interesting because I thought that I was past that point. And when I had my next meeting with my... ⁓

mission president, even he was like, I thought, you know, we had, you know, we'd worked through that already. And I said, I guess not. Because I was as surprised as he was to see me crying about it and talking about it because I thought, okay, I've gotten over that. But apparently something that week set me off that had me going again where I can't, this is just too much, I can't.

I don't think I even exhaled. Exhaled.

while I was there because I was constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. I was waiting for that emergency call that was going to freak me out. I wasn't going to be able to respond in time. It was going to cost somebody life or limb. And I'm going to be a horrible person.

I remember being terrified about that the entire time I was there. And I don't think I fully exhaled Until I stepped foot back stateside. I think I was always holding my breath, anticipating that one frightening

I felt like I had to constantly be ready for the next thing. I'd have to call the mission doctor. I was on WebMD. I was on Mayo Clinic trying to make sure I was given the best advice that I possibly could to help them to get over their weaknesses,

I don't think I fully took a deep breath the entire time I was there because I was always waiting for the next call.

that can wear you down over time. And it just kind of wore me down mentally, but especially emotionally. And because I was taking a lot of negativity.

Not that they were being mean or negative, but I mean the situation was just negative because I was constantly being fussed at and called and cried at and because they were sick, unless they're sweet little hearts, they were sick and they just wanted to be better. And they just wanted me, I felt like they wanted me to be their mama and they wanted me to kiss their boo-boos and make it all go away. And I wasn't always able.

to do that, which made them feel bad. It made me feel bad. I cried many a times.

over their illnesses and my inability to make them better, which was also having to come to the realization that only God can make them better. I'm just a vessel by which to do that.

And it was emotionally draining absorbing that every day all throughout the day and the night.

It didn't work. What you said didn't work. And I don't feel any better. And I'm tired of feeling this way. And I want to go to the doctor. And I want to do this. And I'm sick of that. And it was almost time to go home when I realized something that my president had said. He'd asked me once, what do I do for myself when I get home?

not home, stateside home, but home to my home there. What do I do for myself Because I'm absorbing negativity all day, ⁓ energy, because sick people are not happy people. And...

I have to be honest, I kind of just blew that off. Like, what? I mean, I'm not here for myself. So, but it was later, months later that I understood what he was trying to say is needing to have something to lift yourself up so that you can emotionally let go of some of the negativity and to keep yourself from being worn down.

But there were several moments throughout that 23 months where I just thought, I can't do this. This is, I'm so drained. I just have nothing.

I didn't know if I could keep doing this for the 23 months. And it wasn't like I had a big breakthrough moment where I was like, that's it, I'm done, I'm going home. ⁓ I just kept showing up every day, every phone call, every text message.

I just kept showing up.

And it didn't matter if I felt completely drained. I still showed up. And mind you, sometimes I was having the same illnesses they were while they were. So I showed up drained and sick sometimes. And I just kept doing it.

And maybe your situation looks different. I'm pretty sure your situation looks different. But that feeling of being worn down, ⁓ of ⁓ not knowing how much longer you can keep going, that part right there is the same.

doesn't usually happen all at once. It happens in inches, you know, a little less effort.

a little more hesitation, a little more distance. You don't wake up one morning and decide that you're gonna walk away. You just slowly stop leaning in as much, little by little.

And the dangerous part is

It feels reasonable. You feel justified. It feels like you've done enough.

You're not trying to be disobedient. You're just trying to reach some breathing space, right? Just room to breathe. At some point, a thought shows up in your mind. What if I just implant here? What if I just stop?

Not forever, you know, just stop trying this hard. Stop caring this much. Stop showing up like this. Stop expecting anything to change.

And it's not rebellion.

You're just looking for some relief. You're just reaching out trying to find some relief.

This moment right here, where you're tired enough to consider letting go, this is where the direction shifts.

Not in a big dramatic way, just in a quiet decision. I'll step back a little. I won't give it as much as I have been. I'll protect my energy just a little more. And sometimes that feels like a wise decision.

But sometimes it's the beginning of walking away from something that really mattered.

A lot of things don't end with a decision. They end in a slow fade out.

Okay, so let's take the pressure off for a second.

Because continuing doesn't look like what we think it does. It's not strong. It's not inspired. It's not confident, but it looks like showing up when you don't feel like it means anything. It's like doing less, but not nothing. It looks like choosing not to quit.

without knowing if it's even worth it yet.

Sometimes faith isn't loud, it's just still here. If you're at that place right now, where you're tired in a way that people don't see, when ⁓ nothing feels urgent, but everything feels really heavy.

I'm not telling you to try harder.

I'm not gonna tell you to push your way through it.

I'm just going to say, don't make a quitting decision in a moment where you're this tired.

rest, breathe, pull back if you need to.

But don't walk away.

Mike Thumper.

You don't have to know if it's worth it yet. You just have to not walk away while you're too tired to see it clearly.

But here's what I've learned.

Sometimes the most powerful stories don't come from people who felt strong the whole time. They come from people who got to this exact place.

and almost let go. And sometimes you don't even realize what it meant that you stayed until you hear what came out of it.

So if that is where you are today, I just want to slow down long enough to say this clearly. You are not failing because you feel tired.

This week's scripture is from Galatians.

We are in Galatians 6, 9.

and let us not be weary in well-doing for in due season we shall reap if we faint not.

I'm your host Stephanie and I'm really glad you were here with me today.

If this episode brought you a little hope, then please feel free to share this episode with someone you know who could be experiencing the same thing or need a little pick me up for the day. And also feel free to share the reflection guides for this episode. And while you're sharing those, why don't you go ahead and share a little prayer with them as well.

Remember, glory doesn't come without grit. See you next week. Bye.