Episode 14 - Fierce Hope in the Middle of Medical Chaos
- Glory & Grit
- May 24
- 48 min read
Show Notes:
Summary
In this episode of Glory & Grit, Stephanie welcomes Crystal Griffith for a conversation about fierce hope in the middle of medical chaos.
Crystal shares how medical challenges have shaped her life from childhood into adulthood, including a traumatic brain injury after a car accident, years of pain and uncertainty, infertility, chronic illness, caregiving, and becoming a medical mom to a daughter with complex medical needs.
Through humor, honesty, and deep faith, Crystal talks about learning to hold onto God when life did not make sense, when doctors did not have easy answers, and when caregiving became overwhelming. She also shares how her lived experience eventually led to the creation of Medical Mom Warriors™, a resource and community for medical moms and caregivers.
This episode is a reminder that hope does not have to be polished to be real. Sometimes hope looks like showing up one more day, asking God hard questions, trusting Him with the unknown, and believing that He already sees what we cannot yet understand.
About K. Crystal Griffith
Crystal Griffith is the founder of Medical Mom Warriors™ and creator of the Medical Stability Blueprint™, helping caregivers build stability inside medical chaos—so they’re not carrying it alone. She equips medical moms and chronically ill individuals with trauma-informed tools, advocacy strategies, and clear action plans. A 3x best-selling author, her work is rooted in lived experience and focused on practical impact. Grab a cup of tea and visit with K. Crystal Griffith at www.MedicalMomWarriors.com where you will find advocacy tips, tricks, and resources, speaking links, and her latest projects.
Connect with Crtstal:
Free Gift Medical Mom Warriors Summit 2020 Videos: https://bit.ly/4dYCOyg
FREE Medical Mom Warriors Community
Key Topics
Fierce hope in ongoing hardship
Traumatic brain injury and life rerouted
Infertility and miracle pregnancy
Chronic illness and caregiving
Medical advocacy and being dismissed
Life as a medical mom
Holding faith and frustration together
Trusting God when healing does not come quickly
God’s presence in complicated, unfinished stories
Medical Mom Warriors™ and purpose born from lived experience
Takeaways
Hope is not pretending everything is okay.
Caregivers are not failing just because they are tired.
Sometimes God’s faithfulness looks like provision, endurance, people, resources, or one more step forward.
God can use what you have lived through to strengthen someone else.
Being present with someone in pain can be a holy act of love.
Transcript:
Stephanie (A): Today's conversation is about fierce hope in the middle of medical chaos. Not the kind that pretends everything is fine, but the kind of hope that keeps holding on to God when life is complicated, exhausting, and still unfolding. My guest today is Crystal Griffith.
Crystal has walked through traumatic brain injury, infertility, chronic illness, caregiving, medical advocacy, and life as a mom to a medically complex daughter. She is also the founder of Medical Mom Warriors, which was birthed out of her own lived experience. But today, our focus is not just on what Crystal has survived, it's on how God met her in the middle of it. How he provided, sustained, restored, and reminded her that she was not alone.
Stephanie (A): Crystal, when you think about your testimony, where does the story of the
medical chaos and the fierce hope begin for you?
K. Crystal Griffith (B): is a great question. So, medical chaos started pretty early on, actually, for me. And in hindsight, I can see it throughout my childhood. I often was in CAS during the summers from random things like falling off the three-wheelers. You remember those, like, they're really super low to the ground and somehow I tilted it and caught my wrist just at the right, and...
Stephanie (A): Y-YEEEESSSS
K. Crystal Griffith (B): had exams that day, and I think I was in the fifth grade, and my mom at some point had scared the bejesus out of me at one point about taking verbal exams, because she had to do that once. And so I was going to school. I knew I had done something to it bad. But I was like, nope, I gotta go to school, gotta go to school, gotta take my exams. So I'm like holding my hand trying to get this, that was the worst penmanship ever on those exams. And then finished the exams.
Stephanie (A): Right?
Stephanie (A): Great.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): and went into PE and we're supposed to do volleyball and by this point I'm just crying. I'm hurting so bad. And I go to the person and he goes, you're just trying to get out of PE and I'm like, I'm not, I really, I hurt my arm. And he's like, you just took exams, you're lying. I'm like, I'm not, I really. And then I show it to him and it's like this big. He's like, I think you should go to the office now.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): So that was how that summer started. Yeah. So I do funky things like that all through childhood. And so by the time I got to adulthood and I had this traumatic brain injury from a car accident, I was familiar with doctors, not living there, but I was definitely familiar with it, right? I don't think I had realized how much I had picked up in all of those appointments along the way. So I think that did kind of propel me into advocacy a little faster than I expected and I only realized that thinking back, right? And so from the brain injury and having 48 doctors trying to get out of pain, just like we were talking about, migraines are just, ooh, between migraines and back pain, like, they give childbirth a run for its money and I can say that because I've had a kid, right? It's just like misery, right? It just takes over your whole life. And so I think from,
Stephanie (A): Mm-hmm.
Stephanie (A): Right.
Stephanie (A): Right.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): In the trauma of trying to get out of pain, I had to hold on to something. What was that? Because it wasn't me, because I wasn't the me that I had already always known. I wasn't the me that my newly married husband recognized even, which became a whole other story. But I knew I had to hold on to something and God had always shown up for me.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): throughout my whole childhood and he and I were besties. And it was never a big salvation message for me. It was something I just always knew he was always there. And so in the middle of the chaos and trying to figure out how do I get them to hear me? How do I get my needs met? How do I just get out of the pain so I can function? I can know my name. Because there were times I didn't even know my name. The pain was so excruciating. How did I do that?
Stephanie (A): Wow.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): And that's where the hope really took root. And again, I didn't even know that it was that until my kid came along. And then in my kid's medical chaos, that has been ongoing for, she's gonna be 21 soon, since before she was born actually in utero, it has been ongoing. But the last, let's see, five, six years have.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): definitely multiplied and amplified her diagnosis. We're up to 28, several of which are life expectancy shortening. And so how do you hold on to hope in all of that? And that's where fierce hope really began to be a phrase for me and really understanding what was that? Because it's not about the platitudes. It's not about God gives his toughest battles to strongest soldiers.
Stephanie (A): Hmm.
Stephanie (A): Mm-hmm.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): Please, I would like to know chapter and verse of where that is in the Bible, because it ain't in there. I'm just saying it's not in there. And if that was true, I would be like, she woman. Like, that's all I'm saying. So, let's just put the platitudes aside, right? Let's really think about what does hope mean to us when Jesus is the anchor. And when we think about it from his standpoint, what was his hope? Like, even for him in the Garden of Gethsemane,
Stephanie (A): you
Stephanie (A): Okay.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): He's sweating so bad. It became blood. Like, and as single mom to single mom, we've been in positions where we are crying out on behalf of our kids. Sometimes for life, sometimes for other things, on ourselves because of the pain that we're in. How do we work through that and live through that? And when you reflect, he never lost sight of who he was talking to.
Stephanie (A): Hmm
Stephanie (A): Right?
Stephanie (A): Mm.
Stephanie (A): True.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): which was his father. And even Jesus said, if there's another will, another way, right? Like, I'm open to it, right? But if not, I'm gonna press through, just like we were just talking about. We're gonna press through the hard moments, but if there's another way, we're open to it. And Jesus even said that. So looking back, that fierce hope became for me not just,
Stephanie (A): Right.
Stephanie (A): I'll take it.
Stephanie (A): Press through.
Stephanie (A): Right, right, right.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): looking at what Jesus did, but also the systems and tools that he had in place. Now, sometimes those systems and tools failed him, like he had three of his closest disciples supposed to be praying for him in the garden, right? They fell asleep, not once, not twice, but three times. Right? You're like, what is the problem here? But I get it. I have been in the middle of ER visits with my kid and I've...
K. Crystal Griffith (B): So exhausted. I'm like, I'm just gonna put my head down for a second. get it. And so we still have tools. They're not perfect, but there's systems. There's things that we can use to anchor that support, anchor that hold into him and get us through. And most of all, I feel that it's.
Stephanie (A): Right, right.
Stephanie (A): Right.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): the vision that I keep in front of me that he already has the solutions. There is not one iota, even what you've experienced to get us here today, right? He knew, he knew today was gonna be the day with a storm in your head. Like he knew, but he already had solutions. He already knew what we were gonna talk about. And so he's already out of cover. I think sometimes if I could go.
Stephanie (A): Mmm.
Stephanie (A): Right.
Stephanie (A): And there's great peace in that.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): absolutely, because nothing's a surprise to him, right? Nothing. So I wanna address one thing though, because I think sometimes we miss this part. We wanna say that it's the enemy coming against us. Like, well, the enemy just doesn't want us to have this conversation. Okay, let's address that. That could be true. I know I'm not supposed to be alive. My child's father was not supposed to be alive.
Stephanie (A): Mm-hmm.
Stephanie (A): Mm-hmm.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): And we've got massive proof for both of those. We know my kid wasn't supposed to be here. It takes 10 years to get pregnant with her and literally a living miracle that she is here. We know she has a story to tell, a testimony that is going to come because God's promised me that and God never goes back on his promises, right? And so even in the midst of 28 diagnoses and even in the midst of life shortening, even in the midst of her having a hysterectomy at 19, God told me I was gonna be a grandma.
Stephanie (A): Mm-hmm.
Stephanie (A): That's right.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): Not up to me to figure that out. That's up to him. Right? He told me I was going to be. He would have told me back then in the sixth grade when I asked him that question. Could I just go to straight to being a grandma? He goes, not quite the way it works. You gotta be a mom first and then a grandma. So I held on to that promise the whole 10 years. Lord, you told me I was gonna be a mom. It's not up to me on how it's gonna happen, but you are gonna fulfill your promise. Even when we're walking through the hard times.
Stephanie (A): Mm-hmm.
Stephanie (A): Right.
Stephanie (A): Right.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): When we want to think that it's always the enemy, I think it's an opportunity for God to reveal His glory. I think He's going to shape that for us. I think He's going to walk with us as our anchor back to your original position, right? And support us with fierce hope so His glory can shine and we can overcome by our testimony. So that's me.
Stephanie (A): Hmm.
Stephanie (A): Right?
Stephanie (A): Right? that's beautiful. That is beautiful. And on point because it's so easy to say that, Satan's just trying to stop me. The devil's just trying to stop me. No, maybe this is part of the process that you need to go through to increase your faith and learn to depend on God and not on what your plans are or what your schedule is or other people. So that's beautiful.
Stephanie (A): I want to make sure we tell the story about when you found out you were pregnant, but let's push it down a little further. I love that story. So you, yes it is. So you had been accepted for your PhD program and there were some difficulties in your path.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): It's doozy!
Stephanie (A): before you had your car accident and the brain injury. So what did that season take from you and what did it begin to teach you about?
K. Crystal Griffith (B): So I had always wanted to have my PhD. I'm not entirely sure why. Nobody in my family had a full college degree. My dad had community college degree and he went in the Coast Guard and my mom had gone to school. I'm probably gonna get the wrong amount, but seven weeks, four days and 36 minutes of some sort. There's a story there, right? She had motto, she had to go home, kind of thing. She never went back, but there's a story.
Stephanie (A): Yeah
Stephanie (A): wow.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): Dear Lord, there's always a story in my family. So when I got my bachelor's, I knew I wanted to do my PhD. And so I actually was going to go to seminary at Boston University. I had been, I went up, I interviewed, I got accepted to Boston University School of Theology. I was so excited. And I wanted to make a change. I wanted people to know who God truly was.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): In the areas that we hardly ever talk about, like the Holy Spirit, like our charismatic giftings, right? I wanted to be, many people call it the fringe, right? But not really the fringe, but in line with who God is. But I wanted to be that axe preacher on fire, see the little fire appear, right? I was ready. I knew miracles existed. At that point, I don't think I had actually experienced one other than being alive.
Stephanie (A): great.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): Like my whole life, my mom had always told my sister and I, and my sister seven years younger than I, that we were living miracles because she had been pregnant multiple times and she had gone full term and one passed at birth and his name was Jamie and he would have had Fens and Down syndrome and a number of other issues. And then my sister Kimberly lived three days.
Stephanie (A): Mm-hmm.
Stephanie (A): Mm-hmm.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): and she would have had many, many of the same situations that my brother Jamie had. She lived three days and then passed. And then there were some other miscarriages. So the fact that my sister and I were born as normal as we are, and I use the word normal very loosely now in my life. I just want to clarify that, just clarify that. Because I think every person is normal because God created them to be exactly who they are. So, exactly.
Stephanie (A): Mwahahahaha!
Stephanie (A): Hmm. We all have our own normal.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): So as what society would deem normal, right? And we were living miracles that we are who we are and how we came out and about and things like that. So from there, then I had just different cast and things like that throughout my childhood. But when I got to graduation,
Stephanie (A): Mm-hmm.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): Yeah, here's another crazy story for you. So I just love doing fun things all at one time, evidently. So I graduated from college in the morning and got married in the afternoon. Thinking, well, everybody's there for the graduation. We'll just literally walk down the half mile to the church and get married. It'll be f-
Stephanie (A): What?
K. Crystal Griffith (B): It'll be fine. Yeah, I don't recommend that. Just gotta say that. Just, you know, because, you know, why would somebody with mental intelligence choose to do that on purpose? Me, I did that. So, and so I had been accepted to the program. We had delayed a term. I was gonna start in January instead of September just because we wanted to give marriage a little bit of time.
Stephanie (A): hahahaha
K. Crystal Griffith (B): He got this really cool job at a college doing outdoor rec that he had always kind of wanted to do. And it gave him a chance to finish his degree. He was two classes shy. That was, I'll marry you, get your two classes done, right? And so I knew my PhD program was coming. That was gonna be a lifelong career. I was very excited about it. And then September 11th. For not the reasons everybody claims September 11th, because mine happened well before that September 11th.
Stephanie (A): Mm-hmm.
Stephanie (A): Mm-hmm.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): September 11th, same day. He did not get up on time, hit the snooze alarm a couple times too many, and I had to drive him to work that day. This is also why you should always wear fresh underwear, like your mother tells you, wear clean underwear. Same app to you. And so, yeah, so I drive him to work, I drop him off, and on the way back, I'm coming, you come up to the crust of a hill, and then you can see down to the slight, the bottom, right?
Stephanie (A): Mm-hmm.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): It's green, I come down, I'm going through, it's still green, not even yellow, still green. And this lady comes in and, T-bones. She did not defrost her winch, God bless her. 18 year old Sam on her way to work to make sandwiches. Was late and didn't defrost her winch. And so, T-bone me. The next thing I know is somebody's banging on the door, on my window, you gotta get out of the car, the car's gonna explode. And I look up, kind of,
Stephanie (A): Mmm.
Stephanie (A): Ugh.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): in a phase and there's smoke everywhere. And I can't open the door because she T-boned me. It was just bad. So I get out and it's crazy what happens in a car accident because you don't really realize what's happening. And all I can think of is my husband's about to leave for eight hours. I have to go tell him what's going on. So I get in some of guy's car.
Stephanie (A): Whoa.
Stephanie (A): Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): and leave with him to go tell my husband. Now it's Sunday, nothing's open. I'm banging on the door. Story after story I could tell you about my life. And so I ended up coming back, we can't get him, he finds out, he gets there. So they put me on a backboard at this point, because I'm like, oh, my neck does kind of hurt. I probably shouldn't have left the scene. But it wasn't until two days later, I woke up with the excruciating headaches that did not leave me for a number of years.
Stephanie (A): Wow. Probably.
Stephanie (A): I understand that one.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): Yeah, unfortunately. And two weeks later, ended up in the hospital with internal bleeding and the MRI showing the subdural hematoma. So scientific basis of what was happening was all there. And that began a shift into who am I? What's happening? How did I get here? What did I do wrong to deserve this? You know, and we often
K. Crystal Griffith (B): people who are going through these impossible situations and they are impossible because it shifts everything in your life, not just one thing in your life, everything in your life. And it shakes you to the core. And I quickly realized there was no way I could do my PhD program. And I do think that was one of the hardest phone calls of my entire life is having to decline going back to school.
Stephanie (A): Right.
Stephanie (A): Yeah.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): when you don't even know your name, how are you supposed to go to school and take graduate classes, let alone prepare messages? I knew God was still there, but I didn't know why I had to go through all that. And then there's the whole, why did it happen? Could it have been avoided from a logical perspective? And you gotta work through that process of forgiveness. And then you have what happens to your family.
Stephanie (A): Right.
Stephanie (A): Hmm.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): You know, now the person that died then husband had married was radically different. I went from massive extrovert to massive introvert and I have come back to extrovert, as you can tell. I don't mind telling stories. I can do them all day long, right? But the truth is, I will be done after this podcast and then I will be quiet, right? Because I know what my body needs now, right?
Stephanie (A): Mm-hmm.
Stephanie (A): Right, right.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): took a hot minute to get to that place, but now I understand what my needs are. So I would encourage your audience to realize when you're walking through the valleys, you don't know how to get back to the mountaintops sometimes. And you gotta figure out how to walk and live in the valley for as long as you happen to be there. That's never easy, but it can be done.
Stephanie (A): Right.
Stephanie (A): Hmm.
Stephanie (A): Right, right. During your, excuse me, during your years of having the headaches and the uncertainty, and you talked about in the pre-interview a time when the doctors didn't know what was happening or have a name for it yet, what was your relationship with God like during the time of going through all that confusion?
K. Crystal Griffith (B): lot of questions a lot of
Stephanie (A): Mmm.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): Why me?
K. Crystal Griffith (B): What was this gonna prove or show about him? Couldn't given this to somebody else who didn't have their life ready to go? I wouldn't say entitlement, but you do, I think, walk this journey of going, couldn't you get it somebody else? Why me, specifically? And then when...
Stephanie (A): Mm-hmm.
Stephanie (A): Right.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): the marriage issue started happening and the violence started happening because he didn't know what to do in those situations. Now, don't mishear me. Abuse is never okay for whatever the reason is. And you have to seek help, okay? I didn't know those stories. I didn't know to do that. I was in it going, well, he is doing that because the X, Y, Z.
Stephanie (A): Mm-hmm. Right, right.
Stephanie (A): Mm-hmm.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): I didn't know to not do that. So I want to make sure your audience is very clear. No, it's not okay. Don't make excuses for bad behavior. It's their choices to live in bad behavior and it affects you physically, mentally, emotionally. And so when I'm in those moments, God and I had to have a lot of conversations. But sometimes even to talk to God hurt my head, to be honest.
Stephanie (A): Right.
Stephanie (A): Thank you.
Stephanie (A): Yes.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): to think about it, to question all the things that we were walking through.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): And why wasn't he showing up? Like, I did know he could heal. So that was a lot of prayer. Like, Lord, heal me. I know you can. You said in your Bible you could. There's multiple people in here. So you begin to dive deep into all those healing verses and you claim them as yours and you say them on rote memory and, you know, all of that.
Stephanie (A): Right.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): And yet you're not getting healed. And so how do you press forward? Today, there's a fantastic movie called, I Can Only Imagine Two, it's the second one, about Bart Millard and Mercy Me. And in there, there's a gentleman in there by his name, Tim Timmons, who helped write that song that they're now, the second one that they're now super famous for. It is Well With My Soul, which was stemmed from.
Stephanie (A): Mmm.
Stephanie (A): Mm-hmm.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): a story from a gentleman who lost his entire family on a cruise crossing on the across the Atlantic. he wrote as he passed the same area that his girls died. He wrote the song It is Well with My Soul. And I would come back to that in that movie. And I really realized. In the lowest of the lows of my entire life.
Stephanie (A): Right, right.
Stephanie (A): Mm-hmm.
Stephanie (A): Hmm.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): It has always been well with my soul because I knew even if I was angry at God, even if I was questioning him, he could handle it. His shoulders were always big enough to handle my anger, my rage, my frustration, my peace, my gratitude, all of it, right? All of it. He gave them to us. So absolutely, he can handle every single thing that we have.
Stephanie (A): All right, he can handle our emotions.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): And it was always well with my soul. I may not have understood it. I may have been frustrated with it. I may have questioned a lot of things. But that anchor in me never shifted. And there was a duration of time, much later on in my marriage, that there were about three, four years that God and I still talked, but I was not happy with him. Because I was like, Lord.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): I keep doing what you tell me to do, but you're not getting some other people in line to make that work.
Stephanie (A): They don't know the plan.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): Like, you wanna help back? Right?
K. Crystal Griffith (B): So.
Stephanie (A): Wonderful. Now, one of my favorite stories. Tell us about the miracle pregnancy and how you found out.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): Oh my gosh. Yes. So at the car accident, I was told not to get pregnant because I would stroke out. So that whole conversation in sixth grade where God said, I'll take care of you. You you'll be a grandma, right? I'm like, okay, I gotta be a mom first grade. How am I supposed to do that when I can't get pregnant? So we went through 10 years of infertility.
Stephanie (A): Right.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): And we went through all the testing. Interestingly enough, nothing caught it until far into our testing. So in that duration of time, we had two failed adoptions. And then we had four young ladies that we were willing to help them have their children if they would have them. Three decided to keep, one did not. And so I just kind of.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): can't wait to meet those babies at some point in the future in heaven, know, kind of thing, I kind of call them my own. And then we were just about to have our 10th wedding anniversary and at the time we were teaching a marriage class, which is a whole story in itself. And so I had gone through this testing where they...
Stephanie (A): Yes.
Stephanie (A): All right.
Stephanie (A): Mmm.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): do this dye testing to see if your tubes are open. Most excruciating test I think I have ever had in my entire life. Most excruciating, that was just horrendous. And they're like, yeah, you're not gonna be having kids. Yeah, the dye will not go through, it just kinda kicked back out and that's why it made it so excruciating. So you've got too much scar tissue in there, in both your tubes, there's no possible way you will be getting pregnant.
Stephanie (A): Oof, oof.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): So now, you know, I'm faced with what does that look like? Lord, what's the promise? How are we doing this, right? Kind of thing, because two failed adoptions, four others that I hadn't made, like, where are we going with all this? So we were just about to move to Colorado, and as we were teaching this marriage class, I let them know this information. It was one of our last classes with them, but I had this.
Stephanie (A): Right.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): on the books the next week with the gentleman who created the first test tube baby in the whole United States and he happened to be in Virginia Beach. And we were living in Virginia. And so the gentleman in the marriage class offered to pray for me, which looking back I always think is very interesting because it wasn't the women. Typically like it's pregnancy thing, it would be women nurturing, the men asked to pray over me. And so.
Stephanie (A): Right.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): They all prayed over me and then of course the women came up and prayed as well, but the men led it. It was kind of interesting. And then the next week I went in for this test. And all of this leads up to the story that you asked for. And so I go into this gentleman, he's 72 years old. Now as a woman you'll appreciate this because us as women we have to get all this lovely tests done. His knuckles were like this big around, okay? And he has to do all kinds of fun tests and I'm like, dear God, he's gonna kill me.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): And so he's doing all the tests and he's like, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. I'm like, do you say anything about mm-hmm, right? And so two and a half hours of these tests and then he goes, hey, I'm gonna do one more test. Like, okay. So he brings out something that looks like a balloon blower upper, for lack of better term, and it's got a little pump on the end and he shoots air up the hoo-hoo and then he just leaves the room. And I'm like, well, already, am I getting dressed again?
Stephanie (A): you
K. Crystal Griffith (B): And about that time that I have this thought, I get this excruciating pain in my shoulder. I thought I was having a heart attack. I was like, my God. Okay, I'm gonna go on the table here and I'm naked. This is a bad plan, right? Like I'm just like, fine. What is happening? What feels like an eternity, he finally comes back in. And he's like, I'm like, what did you do? Like at this point, I'm not being nice. What did you do? You're trying to kill me. He's like, does your shoulder hurt?
Stephanie (A): Mm-hmm.
Stephanie (A): Hey
Stephanie (A): Right. Right.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): Yes, yes, it does make it stop. He goes, your tubes are open, go home and have babies. I'm sorry, what? So this test is about a carbon dioxide gas that goes up and if your tubes are open, it will go through the tubes and then settle under your scapula. And that's what it had done. So it showed him that both the tubes were open. So all the other tests were not conclusive that he had done showing that it was open. This is the test that said that. And I'm like.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): How are they open? At this point, I'm not putting two and two together at all, right? He goes, I don't know, because he has a little accent. I don't know. And I'm like, okay. He go home and have babies. okay, I'll get right on that. Not like I've been trying that for 10 years, but sure, I'll take your advice and go home and have babies. Right, it'll be great. So right after that appointment, we moved to Colorado, and we are there about six months.
Stephanie (A): Right, right.
Stephanie (A): You
K. Crystal Griffith (B): And my husband then gets sent to Japan for an investigation with the Air Force. And right after we had moved to Colorado, I got in another car accident. It was like a 20 car pile up on a major interstate, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. We all like slamming each other, was great. And so I had...
K. Crystal Griffith (B): shoulder issue from the seatbelt. I was passenger so they call it the the police officer injury actually and we left from a seatbelt. So it killed my rotator cuff and then it got my back. I would just like the way I've been sitting in the seat just got my back the wrong way. So I've been trying to get MRIs for the back for several months and while he was gone I was trying to get them. They finally got me on the schedule but they kept canceling. So he had just gotten back
Stephanie (A): Mm-hmm.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): and I had this appointment to go at 10 o'clock at night. And I was in the shower and I was like, I'm just gonna put sweats on. I've got MRI today. We'll just hang around the house and do some errands kind of thing. And in the shower I was like, oh, I think I'm late. But for me, 10 years of being late was nothing because I couldn't tell you how much money I spent on pregnancy tests that always had negatives. So it wasn't gonna be any different.
Stephanie (A): Hmm.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): And I'm like, okay, I'll play the game. I call the doctor. I'm like, hey, I think I'm late. I've never been on a cycle, but hey, I'm playing the game because I have this MRI today. And she goes, okay, just want you to swing by early, get some blood work, and then actually go see if they can fit you into the MRI early. I'm like, oh, okay, that's good idea. So I go to the base, I got my blood draw, and then I walk down to the MRI.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): And it's just me and this sweet little old lady who looked like she's 103. And then the lady behind the desk. And she hands me the paperwork. She's like, yeah, we can get you in early, no problem. I'm like, okay. So I'm filling out the paperwork. This is pre-iPad days. Filling out the paperwork. And I said, by the way, I just had this blood test and we're waiting on results. She's like, okay, I'll keep an eye on it. So as I'm filling out the paperwork, she goes, Ms. McClung, we're not gonna be able to do your test today. yeah, McClung. And that's my merry game, by the way.
Stephanie (A): Mm.
Stephanie (A): Mm-hmm.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): And I'm like, did your MRI machine go down again? Because this is gonna be like the third time that we cannot get this test done. I really need to get my back looked at. It's really bad. And she's like, no, no, your test came back. I'm like, what test? What are we talking about? Test for what? She's like, the test that you just had. I'm like, I had a test?
K. Crystal Griffith (B): What are we talking about? I just, like I'm here filling out your paperwork. What test did I have? Just like bam, the test that you told me about. I'm like, the blood test. Do I need to go back there? What's wrong with the blood test? I really have no clue at this point. I'm so used to hearing no, no, no for 10 years, 12 times a year, right? Like that's a lot of nos. That's a lot of nos. And you're like, okay.
Stephanie (A): you
Stephanie (A): Right, right.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): And so I'm like, what are we talking about? So I walk up there, still filling out the paperwork, because I'm like still, yes, right. And I said, ma'am, what are we talking about? She goes, ma'am, the blood test you just took, you can't have an MRI. Okay, I'm really, why exactly? Because you're positive. I said positive for what?
Stephanie (A): Right?
K. Crystal Griffith (B): no idea what the woman is talking about. None. And she's like, ma'am. And she turns the thing, I'm like, look, here's my social, you've obviously got the wrong person, because now I'm starting to put two and two together. I'm like, I don't get positive tests, I get negative tests. 10 years worth of negative tests, I get negative tests. And about this point, the little old lady's like really interested in our conversation and has started walking up.
Stephanie (A): Great.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): And so she turns it and I see my social, I see my name, and it says positive. And about that point, I lose it. I'm like, not nice crying. We're talking full on one big splotch sobbing waterfall, Victoria Falls waterfall.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): And so I can't really talk at this point. So I'm like, print. Like that's all I can get out to print. and in my mind starting to go like, okay, he's here. I
K. Crystal Griffith (B): I can't get this out. I'm gonna have to show him this piece of paper. Like, this is like insane. Like, how is this positive, positive God? Like, I'm asking God at this point, like, did you make a mistake? Like, what's going on, right? And she prints it out and the dear little old lady just comes up and puts her arm around me and she goes, is this a good thing? I can't stop it. There's nothing in me that can stop this, nothing.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): So I have my piece of paper, I'm still losing my everything, and I'm trying to walk down the hall because my then husband works in the operating room of the same hospital. Now when you get to the operating room, there's three sets of doors, and you can go in the first one, but then you can't go in the second and the third one unless you are an operating room technician, blah, blah, blah, right? So there's offices between the first door and the second and the third one. And so as I'm walking to go to the OR, holding my piece of paper cannot stop
Stephanie (A): Mm-hmm.
Stephanie (A): Mm-hmm.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): A person after person is like, are you okay? I can't do anything but say yes, right? And so I get there, and this is how cool God is, all three doors open at the same time, and who is doing a cart like he's stocking a cart? My husband at the time. So he like,
Stephanie (A): You
Stephanie (A): You
Stephanie (A): you
K. Crystal Griffith (B): looks at me and like can visibly see something is wrong. Now at the same time, we have three grandparents who are kind of at death's door. So he's thinking it's one of them. And so he comes immediately, he's like, what's wrong? And all of a sudden, I like get the wherewithal to go, I can't tell the man he's gonna be a father in the middle of the hallway in my sweats. Are you? Like.
Stephanie (A): Right.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): I've got 10 years to think about this moment. This is not going according to the plan of any plan that I ever had to tell him he's gonna be a father. So I'm like, can office? I still can't talk in full in police sentences. So I go in office and I just hand him the piece of paper and he looks at me and he looks at the paper, he goes, is this yours? Again, 10 years worth? Like, why would either of us think this is real? And I'm like, yeah. And I'm like, I know, like, yes.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): I'm with you, I have no idea what is happening here. And he's like, my gosh, I'm like, I know. And we finally stopped crying enough to like have a moment. And he's like, I need to take the day off or I said take the day off or I don't know how it is, but he goes out, he gets the rest of the day off. And then I see the fax machine in the corner of this office. And these are the days of faxes. My dad's a real estate agent at the time.
Stephanie (A): you
Stephanie (A): Right?
Stephanie (A): Mm-hmm.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): And so I knew he had a fax machine at the house and they were supposed to be at the house that day. And I'm like, I have to fax this information to my mom and dad. And then we'll go out in the car and we'll call him. I call them and like, we're faxing you something. Go stand by the fax machine, click. Like no hello, no nothing. We put the fax machine in there. He changes his clothes. We walk out to the car, which is a country mile. We get out there, we call him and we're like, did you get the fax? And my mom's on the phone with him.
Stephanie (A): Mm-hmm.
Stephanie (A): Right.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): And she's like, yeah, but I don't know what it means. And my dad in the back going, Kathy, Kathy, it means they're pregnant. We don't have to understand what it means. It means they're pregnant. I know it as long as I'm standing here. That's what it means. And so of course, everybody's like, my gosh, right? Yes, it was quite funny. there's.
Stephanie (A): I love that. I love that story. Okay. How did your medical journey prepare you to be a medical mom?
K. Crystal Griffith (B): never don't moment in my life.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): I'm gonna say it didn't, but it did. with the advocacy pieces that I had to pick up for my own care, mean, 48 doctors, you gotta fight for care. And back then with traumatic brain injuries, they just didn't know anything. Even if they saw it on the MRIs, they didn't know how to treat it. So they pat me on the leg and go, go home and sleep it off. And I'm like, I can't even sleep. What do you mean sleep it off? I pass out from pain. Like that's where we are, right?
Stephanie (A): Yes.
Stephanie (A): Right.
Stephanie (A): All
K. Crystal Griffith (B): And so in trying to find my voice in the middle of not even knowing that's what I was doing, you know what, I think I've built up a resilience, and I know that's an overused word today, but back then it really wasn't, but that's really what it was. There was an inner strength of resiliency. Because like you and I were chatting about when we first got started, you don't have a choice but to keep moving forward.
Stephanie (A): Mm-hmm.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): what else are you gonna do? No one can do it for you. You have to do it. And so I think that grit, like I love your glory and grit as your name implies, because it was grit. Like I was having to pull up my shoes by the bootstraps kind of thing and put my big girl panties on and all those little things that we all say, right? Because I had to figure out a new life, a new understanding of who I was, a new...
Stephanie (A): Yeah.
Stephanie (A): Mm-hmm.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): partnership with my body that was very broken. And so that took a lot of oomph to get there. Fierce hope, tools, systems that I didn't even know I needed to figure out how to make. So when my kiddo came along, we were pregnant because I was very overweight at the time. I was about 200 pounds and
K. Crystal Griffith (B): So that automatically makes you a high risk. And then I was not a spring chicken at this point considering it took 10 years. I was 32, you know, so I don't know. They kind of equate 32 to geriatric in the pregnancy realm. I don't really understand that, but we'll just go with it. you know, the one thing I did say no to is the amniocentesis because...
Stephanie (A): Mm-hmm.
Stephanie (A): You
Stephanie (A): I know. Ugh.
Stephanie (A): Mm-hmm.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): of what my parents had experienced. We already had genetic counseling pretty quickly when we found out I was pregnant because we wanted to make sure what she had in the way her dad and I came together was not going to be what happened with my parents when they came together and had all of those situations. So there was a lot of... There was fear. Like honestly, there was fear. And five weeks, five weeks into this pregnancy...
Stephanie (A): Mm-hmm. Yeah.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): I was in another car accident, like weeks. And I came to another top of a hill and I'm coming down it, it's super icy, and I slide into the back of a truck that had a hitch. Now not a major car accident, but it was enough to go, my gosh, I was wearing clean underwear. Still in sweats. I have to really love sweats at this point in my time.
Stephanie (A): Mm-hmm.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): And I was scared. I was scared. I'm like, my gosh, what just happened? I can't lose this pregnancy. Right? And that fear just, and you know, many, many years later in heart healing things that I went through, even my daughter went through, that situation came up because we catalog from the moment of conception, we catalog.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): all of our emotions, everything that happens. And those babies, they can hear in that utero. Let me tell you, they can hear. And so the dear gentleman of the car I ran into was like, I am so not worried about my truck. We're calling an ambulance because I just turned to him. like, I'm pregnant. And that's all I could get out. And he goes, nope, we're taking you straight to hospital. But this is how cool, it was literally a half a mile behind me. So they took me straight to that one.
Stephanie (A): Mm.
Stephanie (A): Right.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): and I got to hear my daughter's heartbeat at five weeks. Five weeks. And you know, that just solidified for me. I just feel it right now. It solidifies for me. That life starts at point of conception. And God sees that baby and literally is knitting that baby together in the womb.
Stephanie (A): Yes.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): and to hear that heartbeat so strong and I'm like, my gosh, this is our daughter. And getting to meet her, like, because we had to know pretty early on whether it was a boy or a girl because of everything that I had endured throughout my whole life. There was CAT scans because we had to make sure I wasn't gonna stroke out if I pushed for, you know, a natural childbirth, but dear Lord, this child, God bless her, had her own agenda from the moment she was conceived.
Stephanie (A): Right.
Stephanie (A): Yeah
K. Crystal Griffith (B): And so at 10 weeks, I was being seen on the base and this dear midwife was training somebody else and they felt they're like, she's she's turned like we feel the foot up here and head down there and she's good. And I'm like, OK. What they never felt for was the second foot. So she was doing the splits footling. It's called footling breach. Things that you don't know that you need need. Ten weeks.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): Do you know when I find this out? Week 39. Week 39 I find out. Yep. And they're like, yeah.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): so 39 weeks, we find out on a Friday, she's footling breach. That ends up being a whirlwind of five hours of appointments for the rest of the day. Because now we have to schedule a C-section. There's no way around this. So this is my other tidbit to everyone. If you are pregnant, please.
Stephanie (A): Alright.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): the C-section discussion when you are not stressed, when there's no thought that you might need it, because then you're informed. So if an emergency happens, sometimes it does happen, you will not be nearly as stressed out. That's my two cents, my soap box today, my freebie. Okay, so on that Friday, we meet with the anesthesiologist because of that lovely car accident I was in umpteen years ago.
Stephanie (A): Mm.
Stephanie (A): Yes.
Stephanie (A): Right.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): I have over 50 allergies.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): So just hooking me up to something good to get through a c-section is not really a viable option. So we have to go through lots of conversations. So we have these lovely in-depth conversations with the anesthesiologist, with the surgeon who was on duty that day. We schedule it that Tuesday because that's the next time he's working. So it's 7.30 Tuesday morning. We're gonna be good to go.
Stephanie (A): Right.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): Okay, so we tell my parents they're flying in. My husband goes, he has to drive from Colorado Springs to Denver to pick them up. It's about an hour and a half away to the airport. And I'm nesting.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): so I had just gone to the bathroom. I lay down on the bed. I'm like, oh, I have to go to the pee again.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): Like, you know, you're nine months pregnant, you know? And by the way, where did nine months come from? You were fully pregnant for 10 months. Can I just tell you somebody did not do math well? It's 10 months. Anyways, okay, so I'm like, I go to the bathroom and I can't stop going. I'm like, what is happening? And I'm just hitting the button and I'm like.
Stephanie (A): Mmm.
Stephanie (A): Ha ha ha.
Stephanie (A): Mmm.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): I think my water broke. Thank you Jesus, it was on the toilet and not the bed. Can I just say, like, I just envision all these other people and the amount of liquid that came out of my body. You know, I laugh at these movies that show this dribble. Oh, your water broke dribble. I'm like, that's not how it happens. Just so you guys know that. Like, no, you're gonna need a small wading pool to collect the amount of fluid that comes out of the body.
Stephanie (A): Mm-hmm.
Stephanie (A): I know, right?
Stephanie (A): Hehehehehe
K. Crystal Griffith (B): So I fortunately had gotten in the habit of always bringing my phone to the toilet before everybody sits on there. This was like pre all those days. But just to make sure in case something happened, because I was like having some pass out things in case I needed to get them. So I call him like, where are you? He goes, I just dropped your mom and dad. not telling me my sister's here. Off to my truck, because we had moved his truck so they would have a car to get on the base.
Stephanie (A): Right, right.
Stephanie (A): Mm-hmm.
Stephanie (A): Right?
K. Crystal Griffith (B): And I'm on my way, I'm like, you're gonna need to hurry up, my water broke. And the thing that had been drilled into my head was you have to make sure you get to the hospital if the water breaks, if you have to have a C-section because if the baby gets in the birth canal, it's not gonna be good, especially with her foot and most likely we would break her hip trying to get her out. I'm like, my gosh. So I'm like freaking out. Like, get your.
Stephanie (A): Yes.
Stephanie (A): little bit.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): And I can't stop bleeking!
K. Crystal Griffith (B): And then I get my first contraction on the way, because it's 45 minutes south to this exit. I'm like,
Stephanie (A): Oooooh! Right!
K. Crystal Griffith (B): Floor it buddy, floor it.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): So we get there. I'm trying to tell the doctor who looks like Captain Stubing from The Love Boat. Now you're a little young. You might not remember The Love Boat.
Stephanie (A): I remember the little boat.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): spitting image doppelganger of Captain Subin but shorter. And I'm like, no, no, I want the doctor I spent five hours with to do this. he's not on duty. I am. I'm like, no, I'm getting a pain ball. You have to use staples. Like I'm telling him how to do his job based on this five hour long conversation we had. Like all of a sudden I had very good clarity of what was happening.
Stephanie (A): Right, right.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): He's like, honey, I have delivered 800 children. You will be fine. I'm like, you haven't delivered any of mine. I'm like, no, I want my doctor and my medicine pain ball and I want this and I want that. And like, and I had a five page birth plan. Yeah, that went out the window. Like birth plans are just pointless. Like whoever invented the birth plan must have thought they were like entitled to good crack. I don't know.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): Anyways, so my husband at the time, remember was an operating room technician. So he knows, he's delivered friends of ours, kids, all of that. He's been in the OR, so he knows what to do. So they get us in there, they get the epidural in me, that was a tour, and then he's like in his scrubs and stuff. And I hear, oops, I'm like, why are we up singing?
Stephanie (A): Mm-hmm.
Stephanie (A): Right.
Stephanie (A): Oops.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): He goes, okay, it's okay. Like there's no oops in a delivery. What are we oopsing?
K. Crystal Griffith (B): And the baby had, my dear child, again, of her own accord, had decided to come out butt up. And so when he went through the last fascia, he nicked her little bum, because she's butt-mopped. And that was the oops. And then he pulls her out, and she's lovely and screaming bloody murder, and it was all fine. And then I get the shakes.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): And so, now this is something I've had with anesthesia before. This is nothing new, it's not bad. I saw the child for one brief moment, didn't get to hold her. She goes with my dad and her dad and then to see my parents and my sister who I knew was there at that point. And they wheel me into a room on a totally different floor, mind you, because this is also when they decided to renovate the in-
Stephanie (A): Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): NICU and PGNR for pregnancy.
Stephanie (A): So, okay, we definitely wanna talk about medical mom warriors. that is, so how did God turn your living experiences into medical mom warriors?
K. Crystal Griffith (B): So my kiddo, by the time she hits 2020, when everybody else is dealing with the CV, my dear child and I had already had it before it had a name in 2019.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): And we already knew she at that point probably had, let's just go with 10 diagnoses at that point. There was asthma, there was ASD, ADHD, non-learning verbal disability and LVD. So we knew she had some things, and food allergies, massive, massive food allergies. Her very first anaphylactic reaction happened when she was nine months old. So she had been,
Stephanie (A): Mmm.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): getting a couple of diagnoses along the way. And I was pulling out all of those advocacy skills that I had developed and listening and coordinating and getting binders together. And at that point, the school, every time we brought an EpiPen or Tylenol or Motrin or whatever we needed to bring, seven sheets of paper for each thing, so ridiculous, that I finally put together what I called the medical cheat sheet.
Stephanie (A): Right.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): Well, by nine months, we knew she had an egg allergy, very severe anaphylaxis egg allergy.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): in moving through that and finding out about those allergies and things like that, I developed this medical cheat sheet for her school. Here's the insurance information. Here's her allergies. Here's, you know,
K. Crystal Griffith (B): what her doctor information is, and these are her ongoing issues. And by the way, here's how to work in EpiPen, She's out playing in the backyard. She sees a bumblebee, she steps on it, and then she picks it up and it stings her.
Stephanie (A): bless our heart.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): think she was three. She was three. That was the craziest thing. And so, you know, it's going down her hand and up her, and once it passes your wrist, little information piece, once it passes your wrist, you are considered anaphylactic to bees, by the way. If it just stays localized to the hand, then you're okay. But if it passes that joint, then you are anaphylactic. So you should carry an EpiPen. So we have EpiPens and all of these fun things. So then in 2020,
Stephanie (A): Mm-hmm.
Stephanie (A): Good to know.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): She has had COVID by the time June rolls around at least three times. I wanna say four, but at least three times. And we'd begun to deal with long haul COVID symptoms. She had non-epileptic seizures starting, POTS had been diagnosed at that point. We didn't quite know what the PACs were, which is a heart flutter. And we didn't know all of that was considered long haul COVID, we do now.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): right, but we were beginning to accumulate some diagnoses that were pretty severe. And we're like, what is happening here? And she was dancing in the living room in June and she kicked up. And when she kicked up, she fell on the floor and screamed, I can't feel my legs. So I run in from the office right around the corner. like, what is going on? She's like, I can't feel my legs. I can't feel my legs. And she's crying. And I'm like, what do mean you can't feel your legs?
K. Crystal Griffith (B): I can't feel anything from my waist down. I'm like, what is happening here? And so that really started and I think kick started faster the medical mom warrior piece. I had been working on it in 2020 because of these other diagnosis that she had received. More to get other medical moms connected. Like I just didn't see a community out there. Facebook was really going strong.
Stephanie (A): Thank
Stephanie (A): Mm-hmm.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): Instagram was out there, but nothing really talked to us as medical moms. And as a medical mom, there's a lot of isolation, there's a lot of financial burdens, there's a lot of lack of not just community, but understanding. The medical gaslighting and validation dismissal is off the chart, right? So I had started putting together a summit for medical mom warriors.
Stephanie (A): Mm.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): during that year and then in June when this happened, I knew without question this had to happen. It got pushed not once, not twice, but three times derailed because of what was going on with my kiddo because that's what we do as medical moms. Like we have to pivot. In fact, one of the posts that I made yesterday was about pivoting in the moment because that's what we have to do. And because whatever needs addressing as the priority is what takes priority.
Stephanie (A): Right. Right.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): And as much as I knew that summit needed to happen and I felt bad about calling the people that I was interviewing, I was like, I am going to pre-record all of them because live doesn't fit for a lifestyle of a caregiver. It doesn't. And so I held that summit, I think that one was in August by the time it got there, and we had a great time. We had 11 speakers, we learned so many different things about it.
Stephanie (A): Right.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): My kiddo was in a hospital bed trying to get her legs back to use and feelings back to use. And you know, we're all shut down. You know, was a perfect timing to do it because we were all living online. And then I had another one two years later. Had to do that one from the hospital room with the kid. Like, that's what we do, right?
Stephanie (A): Hmm.
Stephanie (A): Right.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): And that's how Medical Mom Warriors really came about, is seeing those holes. And there's so much more available now on TikTok. A lot of medical moms are out there on TikTok. And I don't begrudge them one iota of sharing their stories. It wasn't a fit for me to share like they share. You my kid was older. I'm a different generation. I don't think I need to share every little piece of what's happening with her.
Stephanie (A): Mm-hmm.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): But I do think the highlights in teaching the advocacy skills are super important. And she's good with me sharing that part of her story. And that's why I do that.
Stephanie (A): Mm-hmm.
Stephanie (A): Right.
Stephanie (A): Okay, I know the time has gone away, but let me ask you one more question before we go into our closing. What has caregiving taught you about your faith when you're tired, overwhelmed, or you think you're caring more than you can handle?
K. Crystal Griffith (B): There's no think, we are. We are always caring more than we can handle. So then...
K. Crystal Griffith (B): you add on caregiving in the middle of that, And we're not trained at all. That's one of my huge hurdles that I really wanna fight for on the federal front is we have got to get training to our caregivers
Stephanie (A): Hmm.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): So not only do we have this epidemic of caregivers who are caregiving in ways that they absolutely have not been trained for, physically, emotionally, mentally. Once their loved one passes, and even as moms and medical kids, like I have one about to be 21, but the reality of my kid living to 70, 80, 90, barring a miracle, God can do all things. I'm a living proof, she's a living proof.
Stephanie (A): Mm-hmm.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): We believe in miracles, okay? So I'm not putting out curses here. I'm just saying the reality of logic, she's probably not going to because she lives in a broken body until that's healed, right? That could be this side or it could be that side, right? Of heaven. But we know it'll be healing at some point, right? And we hold those intention just back to that movie that we were talking about earlier that I can only imagine. You're holding gratitude and that tension of a broken body.
Stephanie (A): Right.
Stephanie (A): Mm-hmm.
Stephanie (A): Right.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): in tension with each other. So we can be thankful for the miracle. We can be thankful for the testimony. We can be thankful for the impact for the kingdom that we have while we're here. We can be thankful for the glory that he's shining within us and throughout us. But at the same time, there's a brokenness in the body that's our reality that we have to live in. Think of Joni Erickson Tata. She was never healed, but look how much impact her broken body and the broken way that that body has impacted her life.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): has shifted for millions around the world because of all the things that she has been a part of. So even though she wasn't healed on this side, man, she is gonna be healed on that side. And let me tell you, that woman is gonna be running circles. Like I can't wait to see her up there. Like it's gonna be phenomenal. But in the meantime, that tension exists and she's still changing lives here, right? So when we talk about caregiving,
Stephanie (A): Right.
Stephanie (A): Right. Right.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): We have to find ways because that second epidemic is once their loved ones have passed, their bodies, the caregiver bodies are falling apart. Because on average, they are five to seven years behind taking care of their own needs. That's a lot.
Stephanie (A): Yeah. Yeah.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): And so that's the second grouping of people that are now going to need caregivers of themselves. So who are those people? Because the caregivers are going to need the caregivers because they will be absolutely exhausted from their caregiving. So we have to shift this. This is so important. We have to shift this narrative. That's one of the reasons that I'm writing a bill of rights for caregivers.
Stephanie (A): Mmm.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): Another one is a bill of rights for chronically ill. What does that look like? Because you padding me on my leg and telling me to go home and sleep something off or invalidating me because I'm a woman or invalidating me because I'm in menopause? No, dude, that will not fly anymore. Nope, nope. You get out there and you do your job. So when she lost her legs in 2020, that's what happened. They didn't know what was wrong with her.
Stephanie (A): Mm.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): and they came up with a diagnosis called functional neurological disorder. The old name of it is called conversion disorder. The name before that was called hysteria. it's all in her head.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): No, it's not. No. And the minute you get that FND diagnosis in your chart, you're screwed. Because they look at that in the chart and they go, oh, it's all in her head. So her PCOS symptoms, her cysts, her endometriosis pain, all of that has and was ignored for a very long time. Saying, well, you're also a girl and it's okay to have pain. I got news for you.
Stephanie (A): Wow.
Stephanie (A): Mm-hmm.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): If you're a girl having pain in your periods, that is not natural. It's not. No one tells you that. We've just as a society said, yeah, women should have pain. No, we should not have pain. If there is pain on your cycle, you need to be evaluated. That is not okay. You should not have pain. So there's something wrong. And so when we get to those places where we have...
Stephanie (A): Yeah.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): Unfortunately, and I'm not trying to speak bad about all medical staff, we have had some phenomenal doctors. have. Bayer is much of a unicorn as my child is a unicorn for what she has to deal with, right? But there are some good ones. But you do have to use those advocacy skills. That's why I have scripts. I have advocacy. I have group calls. I'm here because I want to help train people to find their voice in a way that
Stephanie (A): Of course.
Stephanie (A): Hehehehehe
Stephanie (A): Mm-hmm.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): helps them get the results they need. It doesn't mean they're always going to like the results, but at least they know they've gone down the path to get the best results possible.
Stephanie (A): Right?
Stephanie (A): Awesome, thank you.
Stephanie (A): And if our listeners wanted to get in contact with you, how would they go about all that?
K. Crystal Griffith (B): short, sweet, and to the point. MedicalMomWarriors, that is plural, warriors, because we are all warriors, .com. MedicalMomWarriors.com. And the cool news is it's officially trademarked. So, I should be the only one out there. Just got that note, I'm so excited. So, MedicalMomWarriors, and right now that is gonna show you my Linktree account.
Stephanie (A): Yay! Congratulations! Congratulations.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): We are in the process of redesigning the entire website, but you'll see all kinds of podcasts that I've been on to give other stories and other tips and tricks as well as multiple books that I've been in. My own book is about to be launched this fall. I'm super excited about that. So keep in touch. We'd love to hear from you. And also you can pick up a free guide. called the ADA Accommodations Guide. And I think every single person in the world should have this guide because
K. Crystal Griffith (B): You don't know what you don't know until you find out about it. And so whatever we can do to make your life as a chronically ill person or a person caregiving for somebody else easier, let's do it. That's what we're here for, make life easier.
Stephanie (A): Mmm.
Stephanie (A): Awesome, awesome, thank you. So on our final note, what are some encouraging words that you would want to leave with our listeners who may be going through medical chaos and feeling hopeless or not knowing what direction to go? What could we do to help them strengthen their dependence on God and not on?
Stephanie (A): everything else around them.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): think the biggest piece is realizing you're not failing.
Stephanie (A): I say that all the time.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): because I think we feel so overwhelmed at times as caregivers, even as parents, just parenting an average kind of kid, right? We feel like we're doing it wrong or it's not enough. And here's what I wanna share with you.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): How do you feel when you know God's sitting with you?
Stephanie (A): strengthened, yeah.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): And that's how your kid feels. All she gotta do is show up. And even now, like my mom just had a knee reconstruction surgery on Tuesday, and I just went over and sat with her. Just even then, just for her to know that somebody was there with her, if she needed help going to a bathroom or she needed a Coke, know, whatever it was that she needed in that moment. Sometimes it's just about presence. It's not about all the answers. It's not about...
K. Crystal Griffith (B): having to fight or being on long holds with insurance, although those things are all part of what we do as caregivers. And thank you. I wanna say thank you because oftentimes caregivers don't hear their gratitude. Your loved ones don't realize they need to show it or the loved ones can't show it. And I wanna say to your audience, thank you for loving them well in the best capacity that you can because just showing up means so much because
Stephanie (A): Right.
Stephanie (A): Thank
Stephanie (A): .
K. Crystal Griffith (B): If you're not showing up, who would?
K. Crystal Griffith (B): And that's a hard place to be for some people. So I want to say thank you. And I want to tell you that you are seen, you are loved, and most of all, God delights in you. And not only that, but I personally think caregivers get this special C on their crown when they get up there.
Stephanie (A): Yes.
Stephanie (A): Right.
Stephanie (A): The caregiver C. I love it. I love it. I love it. I often end the episodes with a scripture. During your medical chaos or your life, did you have a favorite scripture that you referred back to often or at some pivotal moment that really set with you.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): Let's see. What care you ever see?
K. Crystal Griffith (B): Just saying. It's a dream. I'm going with it.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): For me, it's actually one that I learned and had to read before the class in the seventh grade. Crazy as it was, it was an actual public school, but we were doing a little thing and I had to share my favorite verse and it has always been one of my favorite verses and it's Proverbs 3, 4 through 5.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding, but in all your ways acknowledge him.
Stephanie (A): Mm-hmm.
Stephanie (A): Amen.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): seeing my brain's even like, woo, it's not working today. So in all your ways acknowledge him. know, we get in our own way. And so if we could just get out of our own way and trust that he already has the solutions in play, just like we've talked about earlier today, he already knows what you're walking through. Nothing that you're experiencing was a surprise. You know, I got a unexpected note from the tax people the other day and I'm like,
Stephanie (A): You
Stephanie (A): Hmm.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): my gosh, what is this? What is happening? They're telling me I owe all this money. I don't owe all this money, what is happening? And I'm like, Crystal, God knew this was coming. He already has a plan. You just need to breathe. And sometimes we just have to that conversation with ourselves, right? To remind ourselves of what the truth is. So trust in Him. Trust that He is seeing you. He knows you. He's got the steps ordered. And all we have to do is acknowledge that.
Stephanie (A): Right.
Stephanie (A): Awesome, awesome. Crystal, thank you so much for sharing your testimony and your stories with us today. We really appreciate it and this has been such a fun episode. Thank you so much.
K. Crystal Griffith (B): Thank you for having me, it has been a joy.
Stephanie (A): This has been another episode of Glory and Grit. I'm thankful you were able to join us today with our guest, Crystal. Don't forget, if you need to sit with this and ponder this thought a little more, you can check out the episode's reflection guide.
Stephanie (A): You'll be able to find the reflection guide, our show notes, and our guests' details and a photo all on gloryandgritpodcast.com, that's and spelled out.
Stephanie (A): I'll see you next week. Bye now...
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