Glory & Grit : Season 2, Episode 11 - When God Prepares Your Heart for What You Cannot See
Show Notes:
Summary
Amy Eaton’s relationship with her father held both real love and a quiet ache. His free-spirited inconsistency was not intended as rejection, but Amy’s heart often received it that way. A changed plan could awaken an old belief: I was not chosen. I did not matter.
God began bringing that wound into the light through therapy, prayer, and Christian soul care. Amy learned that her value was not determined by someone else’s availability—and that healing did not have to wait for an apology or a changed relationship.
Then came a startling moment in the backyard. Sitting beside her husband, Amy stopped rocking and said, “I don’t have a lot of time left with my dad.” She did not know what the sentence meant, but she knew what to do next: stop postponing the daddy-daughter weekend she had wanted to plan.
That weekend became a gift she could not yet measure. About fourteen months later, her father collapsed, received a terminal cancer diagnosis, and died fewer than sixty days afterward. In the hospital, the earlier healing became visible. Amy could hold him, advocate for him, grieve with him, hear the words she needed as his daughter, and read Psalm 23 over him.
This is a story about grief—but even more, it is a story about preparation. God did not make the loss painless. He met Amy in the healing before it, the love within it, and the kindness she could recognize afterward.
In This Episode
How a loving relationship can still hold an unnamed wound
Why healing did not require her father to change or apologize
The joy and freedom of their daddy-daughter weekend
How earlier healing prepared Amy for her father’s final weeks
The ICU words that brought peace to a daughter’s heart
Why Psalm 23 became a deeply personal answer to prayer
How grief and gratitude can exist together
Key Takeaways
Love and hurt can coexist without making either person a villain.
A reaction bigger than the moment may reveal an older wound.
Healing does not have to wait for another person to change or apologize.
A faithful response may come before the explanation.
God’s kindness can exist inside grief without making the sorrow less real.
About Amy Eaton
Amy Eaton writes from a deep well of having walked through many heavy seasons. She acknowledges the wrestle and reality of holding seemingly conflicting truths with a grace and tenacious hope that is contagious. She deeply loves Jesus, her family, the Church, and her community. She lives on a mini-farm in Southeast Tennessee where she loves to spend time outside with her furry and feathered friends. Amy’s background in local church ministry, psychology, and corporate human resource work uniquely equip her to write and speak to the whole person (spiritually, emotionally, and mentally) as an overflow of the Lord’s kindness in her life to carry her through so much. Learn more of her story and connect with Amy at amyeatonauthor.com.
Connect with Amy
Website: https://amyeatonauthor.com/
Social: @amyeatonauthor
CONTINUE THE CONVERSATION
Where might God be inviting you to pursue healing before you understand what it is preparing you to carry? Use the free Companion Page to reflect, pray, and take one small grit step this week.
Transcript:
Stephanie (00:00)
What if God began healing your heart before you even knew why? Amy Eaton was sitting outside in the rocking chairs with her husband when an unexpected wave of grief came over her. She looked at him and said I don't have much time left with my dad.
There was no diagnosis. Her father appeared healthy, but Amy knew she needed to stop waiting
and became intentional with the time they had.
What she couldn't see yet was that God had already been preparing her for that moment. Through therapy, prayer, scripture, and a Christian community. He had begun healing the quiet hurt beneath her loving but sometimes complicated relationship with her father. That healing allowed Amy to enjoy him as he was.
Take an unforgettable daddy-daughter trip and eventually to care for him through the sudden cancer diagnosis and the final weeks of his life. Today, Amy shares how God prepared her heart before the hard season arrived. Met her in hospital rooms and
and unanswered prayers and gave her sacred moments with her father that she still recognizes as extraordinary expressions of his kindness. Amy is the author of Hope When It's Heavy. Trusting God is good when your season is not. This conversation includes the loss of a parent, cancer, and grief.
So please listen with care.
Welcome to Glory and Grit, where faith meets real life. I'm your host, Stephanie. Let's begin.
Stephanie (02:12)
we'd like to welcome Amy to the show. We're very excited to have you with us today. And before we start talking about the healing that God did for you and all the things that came after that.
I want the listeners to know who is your dad? introduce us to him?
Amy Eaton (02:30)
Yeah, sure. My my dad was Bill Brown. and I liked to describe him as larger than life. he
was a very tall man. He also had a very tall personality and seemed to know everybody everywhere. very eccentric and live life to the beat of his own drum.
Loved me a whole lot and I'm honored to have been his little girl.
Stephanie (02:56)
Right, right. You said that he was larger than life and I think earlier you said he was was free spirited. what does that
Amy Eaton (03:04)
Air.
Stephanie (03:04)
look like in an ordinary life?
Amy Eaton (03:07)
Yeah, so very free spirited.
he just did life the way that he wanted, didn't overthink things and gosh I remember one time in early years as a single mom, him saying, Let's go to Florida this weekend and I was like, Daddy, I've got work and
Austin has school. and he was like, call out. And I was like, I can't do that. I've got to go to work. he was just very free spirited, like, okay. and sometimes practically that would look like too that he lived in Florida and I'm in Tennessee. So there's several hours difference and
Stephanie (03:42)
Great.
Amy Eaton (03:43)
plenty of opportunity to tell me you're leaving Florida to come to Tennessee, but he he'd be
fifteen minutes up the road and call me from the Walmart or something and say, Hey, what are you doing tonight? And then I'd tell him and then he'd say,
Stephanie (03:57)
Right.
Amy Eaton (03:57)
I was well, I was thinking about coming seeing you. I'm at Walmart and I was like, What?
Just whatever he was feeling, he rolled with it.
Stephanie (04:09)
I love hearing that because my grandmother used to just show up at our house and she's three hours away from us and she and her husband would just show up and of course we wouldn't be there so they would flip the porch furniture on inside to let us know that they have been there. So I'm glad to know our family wasn't the only one doing that
Amy Eaton (04:30)
No, that is so funny. I was like, Daddy, if you told me this afternoon I'd have been home
Stephanie (04:34)
Right, right, right. that is so funny.
Amy Eaton (04:37)
That is funny.
Stephanie (04:38)
I want you to take me back to the day that your father canceled your plans so that he could be with his girlfriend Take me back to that day and describe what happened
Amy Eaton (04:53)
Yeah. well there was one particular day this was actually that comes to mind that he had he was already navigating his cancer journey and I came up with the idea, I was like, Hey, we'll do a day together tomorrow. We'll go get pedicures. He he didn't necessarily probably love that for me to advertise that, but he did like to get a pedicure. I was like, let's go we'll get pedicures and we'll just
go out to eat, we'll just have some hangout time together. And
Stephanie (05:23)
Mm-hmm.
Amy Eaton (05:24)
I was like, Yeah, that sounds nice. and then he decided he was gonna go with his girlfriend the next day he was staying at our house. And I was like, okay. And then I learned that they went to get pedicures and did things together. And I mean I'm an adult at this point. my kid is an adult, I'm married, I've matured, but I still have
you know, a a daughter's heart and you know, it it
Stephanie (05:51)
Right.
Amy Eaton (05:51)
definitely made me sad 'cause he had no ill intent. but he thought, you know what, I haven't spent time around her a lot lately, all this stuff going on, let me go hang out with her. She's sad. and, you know, in his mind, I really think in his mind he's like, Amy's fine, like Amy's so
mature and can navigate things and happy and peaceful, she's okay, she has her husband. I think in his mind he thought, no big deal and and went with her. But he he actually never knew that that actually made me so sad because I was picturing this funday with him and the plans that I had thought up were what he ended up doing with her.
Stephanie (06:25)
Mm. Were you just sad or were you a little angry also?
Amy Eaton (06:31)
I would honestly, say both 'cause anger's a surface emotion, you know, so that's the first thing you feel where you're just like, Well, that's not fair. that was my idea. you know, it's almost like you go into child mode.
but you know, when at the time I've done a lot of healing work, spiritually and therapeutically, and then I was able to untangle it pretty quickly that, you know, that it just made me sad. Like it it's a little bit
of rejection feeling. Even if it wasn't intended, you still feel it.
Stephanie (06:56)
Right, right. Did you realize pretty quickly what that anger was saying to you deeper than just the plans got changed? Or did it take a while for you to kind of settle into the okay, I'm a big girl, let me kind of calm down and get myself in check?
Amy Eaton (07:19)
Sure. it was not very long, but I would say initially that the first thing is and and I think this is where, you know, there's an enemy of our souls, right?
And he wants to take advantage of making us think things that get us stuck in thought patterns that aren't healthy. So the first thought that popped in my mind that I started entertaining was that I was rejected and that he would rather be with her than me. And that is a lie from the devil himself. But that's where I sat and I was mad. And I was like, Well, that's not fair.
And then I even vented a little to my husband. And my husband, helped ground me a little bit too, in a very helpful way. But that was the first thing was, you know, not feeling like, well, that's not fair. Or,
Stephanie (08:07)
Right.
Amy Eaton (08:07)
why would you go spend time with her when I planned that, that kind of thing. And and the enemy's just putting salt on that wound. Like, you know what? Yeah, that's that's terrible. that was really selfish. how could he kick you to the side? And I entertain that a little bit.
Stephanie (08:21)
Uh-huh.
Amy Eaton (08:22)
which was not healthy before I leaned into praying about it and letting the Holy Spirit help me untangle it in a healthier way and s see the deeper stuff.
Stephanie (08:31)
Right, right. What was happening when you first sensed that you needed to go to therapy? Even though you thought you were fine, but you end up going to therapy, what did you first sense about that idea of going to seek help?
Amy Eaton (08:47)
Sure. Well, so about two years earlier than the moment I was just describing, I fully felt like the Lord was telling me that I was supposed to begin this therapy journey. And I didn't know why. I just knew I was supposed to. So I'm researching online and praying about who to to sit with. And I remember when I found the therapist that I was gonna work with, when I met with her, she asked me, She was like, Okay, Amy, well, why are you here? And I was like,
I don't know, you're supposed to help me figure that out.
Stephanie (09:19)
I love that answer.
Amy Eaton (09:23)
She just kinda paused but she laughed with me and stayed with me, right? And but I thought I was like I Yeah, I know you're a Christian. We talked about that for our intake call to make sure that we were aligned spiritually 'cause that was important to me. I fully believe that God told me to come here and I don't I don't know.
Stephanie (09:40)
I was hoping he told you.
Amy Eaton (09:42)
Yep, yep. Like what you got, ma'am?
Stephanie (09:47)
the Christian Soul Care Group, was that the same time or was it a little later?
Amy Eaton (09:54)
Yes, it was around the same time. the Lord is so purposeful in everything that he does. He had already been stirring that therapy journey nudge up in my heart. And then also a few months earlier, he had started this connection with this wonderful friend of mine that I had actually just met at the time who asked me to do this soul care journey, this deep dive.
small group and I was saying she was like, I know we just met and I was like, huh. But I
Stephanie (10:26)
Yeah.
Amy Eaton (10:27)
I knew, the Holy Spirit was telling me to say yes to that. I prayed, I told her, let me pray about it and I'll get back to you. But the Lord had already had me give a yes to that of at least a couple of months earlier than when I started the therapy journey. so both of those were happening at the same time coming together.
Stephanie (10:47)
Was there a moment when you recognized that your dad's availability had become a little tangled with your own identity?
Amy Eaton (10:59)
Yeah, absolutely. And that was something that I'll call her Dr. S. Doctor S helped me untangle as we spent time together. And I realized that I had some just wounds down in my heart where my my dad's free spirited nature where he would just go with the flow and be where he wanted to be that day. And again
I fully believe he, you know, he never was like in an ill intended way, but he didn't realize that that had hurt me and I didn't realize that that had hurt me. but as I talked with her and we untangled some stuff, I did realize that his tendency to cancel plans last minute or
make me feel like I was a convenience. Again, I don't think that was his intention, but because it
Stephanie (11:47)
Right.
Amy Eaton (11:48)
would be on his time, it felt like you'll come see me when it's convenient in those more latter years. And I was entertaining the enemy's thoughts that he was it's like a little fire that he was throwing kerosene on to make me think hotter and hotter about these wrong thoughts of him. But I I harbored some sadness and some anger toward my dad. And I was so thankful that Dr. S helped me
uncover that and unearth that so that we could address it and I could get healing from it because it was absolutely an internal struggle.
Stephanie (12:21)
Mm, mm.
Amy Eaton (12:22)
Cause my my dad was just my dad. I remember my therapist Dr. S, she told me she was like, Amy, you're here doing the work. And your dad is your dad and he's mid-60s. He's not changing. You've got to love him as he is and enjoy the time you have with him.
And you can do that on your own terms or you can be mad and frustrated every time you engage with him and cover it up and not let him know that certain behaviors bother you. You get to choose.
Stephanie (12:50)
Right,
Amy Eaton (12:51)
you're right.
Stephanie (12:56)
Just put the ball back in your court.
Amy Eaton (12:59)
Yeah, yeah.
Stephanie (13:00)
what did it look like for you to separate Dad's change the plans from I'm unwanted?
Amy Eaton (13:09)
yeah. Well part of that was at the time of doing this soul care journey, I was doing some internal identity work and just really recognizing where I had tethered my identity to other things, for example, my my dad's prioritization of me. Well, my I'm valuable if
this instead of like Dr. Rob Reimer says, the issue of my value was settled at the cross. if my identity is safely rooted in the work of Jesus and in who God says I am, then I don't tether that to things that were never meant to carry that kind of weight. So that really helped me switch the the conversation in my mind and really
quiet and put out those little fires that the enemy was trying those fiery darts of of lies in my heart. it was able to quelch that because I was able to listen to what the Holy Spirit says. And to look at my dad with a lens of love, because I had been healed of a lot of this hurt that had been buried that neither of us knew I had. I'm real good
Stephanie (14:25)
Right.
Amy Eaton (14:26)
at just being sweet and loving and hiding that. And God was like, no, I want I want to heal that.
So getting to do that work was in incredibly helpful for me to to just be more loving and present with my dad and to enjoy him instead of placing blame on him that really didn't need to be placed on him. He was a hippie. That's why I always joke. My dad was a hippie. He was a free spirit.
Stephanie (14:52)
And I love what you said about seeing him for who he is. And I often think and would stop myself sometimes to say, hey, this is a child of God. You need to stop seeing this person the way that you're seeing them, with the anger and the frustration that you're seeing, and see them through the lens that God sees them through. That is his beloved child. And you need to see him.
That way and then change your course accordingly. So I love that you brought that
Amy Eaton (15:22)
Amen, yes.
Stephanie (15:23)
up. Was there a particular scripture or prayer or just something that you held on to at moments when you were struggling with changed plans?
Amy Eaton (15:41)
You know, for me it
It wasn't a specific prayer that I would repeat, but it was just creating space to process my feelings because I'm human. God created all of me, including the emotions that He put into my mind and my body.
allowing myself to feel the things, but then also to process it. I think about I wasn't quoting it to myself, but I put it into practice, Romans twelve, one and two, where
He goes into telling us, hey, let's transform our minds. or thinking about like Philippians four, six through eight, when it talks about thinking through everything through prayer and supplication, making your request known to God and you know, the his peace that surpasses all understanding will guard our minds and and hearts in Christ Jesus. And it also says and to dwell on these things that are lovely and good and noble. And so I was I was catching my thoughts.
I think about the other scripture, I think it's in Second Corinthians, but it's where it tells us to take our thoughts captive to the authority of Christ. So as these thoughts were coming in, instead of letting them just do what they want or drive my emotions, I captured those thoughts. This is cognitive behavioral therapy. You catch it and you you challenge it and then you change it if you need to. So I captured those thoughts and I said, God, you know, is this really should I really feel this way?
And no, as I took off those unnecessary filters and really looked at my dad with just a honest lens of love, he was crazy about me and he would do anything for me. And if he had had a clue that that had hurt my feelings, he probably would have left that dinner and come and been with me.
Stephanie (17:21)
Yeah.
Amy Eaton (17:22)
But I had to let the Holy Spirit do the work in me. And I had to put scripture into practice, the way that God made my body and my mind. I had to partner with the Holy Spirit.
to to make sure I was directing my thoughts in a healthy way instead of letting the enemy use that against me, if if that makes sense.
Stephanie (17:42)
So your dad didn't always know that you were hurt when the when he had these moments of, look a squirrel, am I gonna go that way?
Amy Eaton (17:53)
Yeah, he had no clue.
Stephanie (17:55)
yeah, yeah. Did he know that you were doing healing work to get better at handling those situations?
Amy Eaton (18:04)
He didn't know it was unique to us. He knew that I was doing a therapy journey. 'cause as a writer, I have a social media presence and and an author account and I would share things that I was learning in case they were a blessing to other people and
Stephanie (18:19)
Mm-hmm.
Amy Eaton (18:19)
and encourage others. And I'm a pretty open book. So I would talk about things I was learning and and my passion for for choosing therapy and that it's such a healthy journey and
so he knew that I was doing that. He had no idea that it was because of not wasn't necessarily because of, but I was unpacking behaviors that I'd experienced with him. There was other stuff too,
Stephanie (18:43)
Right, right, right, right. I
think once you start you kind of open up all those things that that or sitting in uncomfortable places.
did healing require a conversation with your dad or an apology from your dad in order for that healing to completely process for you?
Amy Eaton (19:06)
Great question. I before I answer it, I I'd love to say too that, you know, sometimes that's something that someone needs and they have to prayerfully navigate whether or not that's something that they need to do. As I prayed through this, I fully believed and still believe and know that this was an internal thing for me. And I didn't need to talk to him about it. I didn't need for him to give me some kind of apology.
As I sat with this with Jesus and just navigated that healing, both along the journey with that small group of working on identity work and really understanding who God is and who I am in Him and seeking healing and release from any even generational curses, things like that, just praying through deep soul work while also doing emotion work with my therapist. I didn't I didn't need that from my dad.
I will say that in his final days, he did say some things to me that were just so tender and so sweet that he had no idea and I didn't realize that I wanted. and they were really powerful. there was one time he was at the house. I used to work from home at the time, and I had taken a break, and he was sitting there talking to me. He kept watching the chosen series.
Over and over. He would watch it on repeat. He was just trying to find anything to give him comfort and peace. And I went and sat on the couch with him for a minute while he was watching that while I was taking a break. And he was like, you know what? I'm so sorry that I spent all that time in Florida and on the beach. I wish I had been here with you more. And I was just so caught off by that random comment in the middle of a probably random Tuesday.
that it didn't know how to respond and and I did my normal thing of it's okay daddy I love you and I know you love me and it's fine. But Stephanie, I bawled like a baby when I got alone later because that was huge.
Stephanie (21:13)
I would have just exploded right there. You did better than I would have done.
Amy Eaton (21:18)
Yeah.
Well I'm not that was something I remembered my therapist. I was like, Am I broken? 'cause don't cry in front of people. And she was like, Do you cry when you should? And we went down that route and she was like, No, it's okay, but I don't know, I just froze. And but later,
Stephanie (21:27)
Right, right, right. It's yeah.
Amy Eaton (21:32)
big tears.
Stephanie (21:34)
I'm on the other end of the spectrum. Like, why am I always crying in front of you? I wear
Amy Eaton (21:38)
I love it.
Stephanie (21:38)
my sleeve on my shoulder. So I cry if I'm happy, sad, you know, emotional, all the things. But
Amy Eaton (21:45)
I aspire.
Stephanie (21:47)
sometimes it's good, sometimes not. how did you learn to love your father, the father that you actually had in your life without pretending that.
there was never any pain from the situations that let's just call hippie moments.
Amy Eaton (22:07)
Sure, yeah. Well, you know,
I can't even think of that's so funny. I can't
Stephanie (22:11)
Yeah.
Amy Eaton (22:12)
I can't even think of an exact moment. But just
Stephanie (22:14)
Mm-hmm.
Amy Eaton (22:15)
through all that deep work, I was absolutely healed. Whatever roots of any kind of possible bitterness that I had, any any things that I allowed the enemy to plant in my mind that I had
instead of squelching almost like snuggled with and made it part of who I was. because that stuff had been scooped out and removed from my heart and I had healing, it was just natural. Like
Stephanie (22:40)
That's amazing, isn't it?
Amy Eaton (22:42)
it was great. Yeah.
Stephanie (22:46)
God is so awesome.
Amy Eaton (22:48)
He's so good. And you know, it it didn't change the behavior, right? there was still, you
Stephanie (22:52)
Right.
Amy Eaton (22:52)
know, times where he'd be in my driveway and say, Hey, what are you doing today? I'm like, Well, my small group shows up in ten minutes. but I'm glad you're here. I'd love to come out and hug you and maybe and go hang out, you know, with Justin.
but I just learned to not get I wasn't ruffled anymore. I was rooted.
and am so rooted in Christ that those things didn't bother me like they used to, I would just laugh it off. And it was just something that we would be like, okay, you know. And or I wouldn't feel guilt if I was leaving to go to church or something or meet a small group or had some at maybe a dinner with a friend. I didn't have to carry guilt that my dad didn't tell me that he'd been driving for nine hours. You know, I could say, Hey daddy, I I have plans tonight. If you're gonna be here a few days, I would love to see you. Let's make a plan.
And was so cool to do that and no longer carry this weird guilt or shame that I used to wrestle that I didn't need to own. And he didn't want me to carry. He was like, Okay, yeah, sure. Tomorrow night sounds good.
Stephanie (23:48)
Happy go lucky, just do it.
Amy Eaton (23:50)
Yep.
Totally good. Great. I can't wait to see you. And I was like, Man, the enemy, you're such a liar. you had me tangled up for so long.
Stephanie (23:57)
Yeah.
Take me back to the rocking chairs in the backyard. what was happening right before that and through that moment.
Amy Eaton (24:09)
Sure. Well, this is a year into that healing journey. I was in s an amazing place. basically where I just described where I was like, the enemy's a liar. My my dad loves me and I love him, and I'm gonna love him as who he is, and I'm gonna enjoy him as we get time together. And we had just been in that rhythm. And it's middle of July.
I actually think I didn't get to see my dad on Father's Day this particular year. and, you know, rather than in previous years I might have been offended, but you know, I was like, okay, well, I'll see him when I see him. I've got his gift. and I'm sitting there
Stephanie (24:48)
Yeah.
Amy Eaton (24:49)
in the rocking chair, you know, this is mid-July, hanging out with my husband, just an evening, a little country summer evening. And I just have this overwhelming sense of grief rush over me.
And I'm welling up in tears, about to start crying. And as I mentioned, I don't cry in front of people. So that's that's serious.
Stephanie (25:10)
Right.
Amy Eaton (25:11)
And I'm welling up and I look at my husband, I'm like, stop rocking. And I like, I don't have much time left with my dad. And I'm like broken voice saying that. And I was got I need to, I need to plan a weekend with him. I need to go spend time with him. And I was like, okay. And I was like, I need to do it next week. And he'll okay. I
Stephanie (25:29)
Yeah.
Amy Eaton (25:29)
was like, I just, I need to do it now.
So I he was okay, what do you need to do? are you gonna take off time from work? What do you we figure it out? we had a brand new puppy. He was like, I'll take care of the puppy, just go. And I of course my dad is down for anything. He's like, Yeah, come on.
Stephanie (25:44)
Mm.
Amy Eaton (25:45)
I didn't have to ask him twice. He was excited. But so I went and we had the best time together. It was the best daddy daughter weekend. we we hadn't done that in gosh.
I feel like twenty years. it had been a long time since he and I had gone away, just the two of us.
Stephanie (26:04)
Mm-hmm.
Amy Eaton (26:05)
And it was so fun. And he still would just keep talking about it. And I had the best time. I was like, we're gonna make this an annual thing. And but but little did I know that a year later, and I'm planning, so that was July. I was planning in October to do the Daddy Daughter weekend again because that was his birthday.
A year later
Labor Day weekend, I get a call that my dad has collapsed and has been rushed to the ER. And then a few days later we find out he has cancer and it's terminal.
Stephanie (26:43)
Yeah, yeah. When you felt that what did your body do? did you feel it more than you thought you heard it or did you hear it more than you how was your body reacting
Amy Eaton (26:58)
You know, the I don't know how to describe it other than saying I just had this wave of sadness. I was so sad. And
I can I can feel little of the heaviness even now. I was so sad and I I was just What? and I knew it in my spirit. it wasn't like I heard some audible voice or something, but I knew in my spirit those exact words.
When I looked at my husband and said, I don't have a lot of time left with my dad. You know, and and
and that was sad, right? we're in such a good place.
Stephanie (27:28)
Right, right, right.
Did you immediately get the impression this this is God trying to let me know that the
Amy Eaton (27:39)
Mm.
Stephanie (27:40)
timing is becoming shorter than I had anticipated? Or I guess where did you think or where did you feel that was coming from? Or you didn't maybe even think at all, you just knew it was true when he when you heard it.
Amy Eaton (27:52)
Yeah. I lean more toward the latter. I just knew. I'm human and I always try to look at life through that lens of
God, you are sovereign and holy and I am human and maybe I'll miss you sometimes because you know, I'll get in my own head. but I just knew. I didn't know what that meant. I honestly thought it meant, you know, a few years or something. He
He was so healthy and so he would be conscious of that. he would go biking on the beach or walking or whatever, he would try to go to the gym, things like that. So he he tried to make healthy choices that we would joke and say he was gonna outlive all of our parents, if not both of us. he just was so healthy
Stephanie (28:32)
Yeah.
Amy Eaton (28:33)
that it was wild for the Lord to tell me that. But I just knew I had no idea what it actually meant though, that it meant a little over a year
later.
Stephanie (28:44)
right. And of course, we don't want to imply to anyone that God was giving you a warning because if that doesn't happen for anybody, but it's just always interesting to hear the stories of how people felt and how they interpreted what they felt or what they sensed. because I'm just nosy, I guess.
Amy Eaton (29:03)
Yeah. No, you're good. You're good. And it's a
great question. this way I think a a very helpful way is to say I knew that I needed to be intentional. And I was already being intentional, but I was very intentional from then on out. I was like, okay, whenever he comes to town, if I can.
I mean, obviously if my small group is pulling up in my driveway, I'm not gonna cancel. But if
Stephanie (29:29)
Right, right,
Amy Eaton (29:30)
I can, he will be my absolute priority. And I did.
Stephanie (29:36)
Awesome.
Amy Eaton (29:41)
Yeah, you're good. Yeah, you're good. Yeah, you're good, girl.
Stephanie (29:39)
Yeah, I guess I should have let in with your daddy daughter actual weekend. Where did you go? What did you do? And then get to the boat. Sorry.
Amy Eaton (29:48)
No, you're fine. But yeah, so we had brainstorm all these ideas and I was like, I'm gonna do whatever he wants to do and I'll help him make decisions because he he's super chill.
But I know he loves boating. And he had this little bay boat that two people can get on and that's it. and he had this place on the bay and when the tide would roll out it was just mud and nastiness. I mean your feet are gonna go deep into the mud, probably a good six to twelve inches. He's told me there's alligators out there. I never saw one and didn't want to see one. Like no.
Stephanie (30:21)
Ha ha ha.
Amy Eaton (30:24)
And so but it's daddy daughter weekend and I'm gonna do as much of the things he loves as possible. And he doesn't know this, but this is my plan. So I was like, hey, how about we go out in the boat? We'll go out in the bay boat. And he was so excited. And I was like, You have got to look at the tide times 'cause I'm not getting stuck out there. And we had a good laugh about it and he was I mean he was on it about it planning it. So we went
Stephanie (30:46)
Right.
Amy Eaton (30:47)
out and I have the sweetest little pictures and videos from that. In fact,
The picture that I blew up and put up at his celebration of life service was from that day together, him at the end of the boat, just grinning as big as he can. he was living on cloud nine and we had the best time and he did get me back. I was getting a little nervous, but we did get back in time that I did not have to walk through the alligator mud.
Stephanie (31:12)
That that's good. Didn't really need to see that up close and personal.
Amy Eaton (31:16)
No, no.
Stephanie (31:21)
what did it feel like for you to just let yourself go? and it sounds like you were almost as free spirited that weekend as he was. What
Amy Eaton (31:31)
good.
Stephanie (31:32)
did that feel like?
Amy Eaton (31:34)
That's good, Stephanie. that's a good way to word it. I sure was. And it was really cool. That was really cool. It was
Stephanie (31:42)
Hmm.
Amy Eaton (31:42)
just, 'cause I I am, you know, I've as a single mom you made me tear up a little bit. I hadn't thought of it that way for me, but he as a single mom, you gotta just take charge. You gotta get get in there, make decisions, be the leader, all the things. so I had just learned to
be the adult, take charge, do the things and
plan everything. And it was fun. It was so fun. We just did whatever we wanted when we wanted, and just felt like a kid. And I
Stephanie (32:10)
Yeah.
Amy Eaton (32:10)
genuinely had equal fun that he was having. we just had a blast the entire weekend.
Stephanie (32:16)
Right.
Amy Eaton (32:16)
We wished that I didn't have to go back to work the following Monday.
Stephanie (32:22)
and when you were having the that awesome weekend, were you also kinda in your mind picturing future weekends like, and next
Amy Eaton (32:34)
No.
Stephanie (32:35)
time we could do this, maybe that?
Amy Eaton (32:38)
Yeah. Yeah. I was thinking of the next weekend we could, do something like that. But also what's a fun trip that we could take? Where could we go away to? my dad had never traveled internationally, gotten on a plane and traveled internationally. I had at the time, only done a few mission trips but I'd been out of the country and so I was dreaming of ideas and things. I was not thinking consciously about
what the Holy Spirit told me that day in the rocking chairs. I was just enjoying it. But I was thinking about all these fun things that we might do later on.
Stephanie (33:09)
Right, right, When you learned that your father had collapsed, you got that call. what was going through your mind at that moment when you're getting this call? I've received one of those calls and I know a lot can go through your mind at that time.
Amy Eaton (33:24)
Yes. well, my husband and I were on a desperately needed weekend getaway. I had started a new job a good eight, nine months earlier and I hadn't had a day off. like a truly like weekend getaway off. so we were just having this great time together and then I got that call and it's like my whole world stopped. somehow I knew that something was very wrong.
And I hadn't slept the night before we traveled with the dog that didn't want to sleep and it was up and down and I was awake anyway. I was so tired, but somehow I knew that as soon as I slept that night, I was to get in the car, change my bags over, because we were going home the next morning from our weekend getaway, and I was to make the drive to Florida. So I wasn't sure what to think, but I knew something was wrong. I started texting prayer warriors and saying, help me pray.
It doesn't feel right. And most of the people that know me know I'm not a doom and gloom person. I'm the eternal optimist. So if I'm saying sound the alarms it's something's off inside of me or it's the Holy Spirit
Stephanie (34:29)
Right, right.
Wow. When you were on that drive, do you remember what you were thinking on your way there to your father's?
Amy Eaton (34:41)
You know, I was making calls. I talked to my husband a little bit. I called my son who was stationed overseas in another country at the time. letting him know so I was just making like a few calls and I was just praying and then I was trying to like listen to anything that I could distract my mind to to not just dwell on what could this be. I wasn't sure if he'd had a heart attack or or what was going on.
So I would try to listen to podcasts or turn on the radio and sing worship music, anything to just get myself to not catastrophize for how bad this could be.
Stephanie (35:17)
Right, right. You talked about your dad being six three, so I'm going back to the moment where you're holding this six three dad and he's just crying in the hospital bed. What do you remember about that particular experience?
Amy Eaton (35:40)
Yeah. well, it was a Labor Day weekend, so it's a holiday. There's minimal staff, so we have to wait until Tuesday to get answers. They're doing scans. We're we're heavy, we're tired. I don't realize it yet. I've realized later when I connected the dots that I think my dad knew but didn't want to know.
But we had a doctor who it was totally a godsend. she wasn't even supposed to be the person to read those results to us. When she realized we were still waiting, she literally said, That's it. I'm gonna read this to you. She went and closed the door and she said, I'm not supposed to do this, but you need some answers. And she pulled it up and told us. And I remember we're just stunned. One of my dad's sisters was a retired doctor. So we got her on speakerphone so she could talk and understand all this.
medical jargon coming at us. we had taken a picture of the screen with permission from that doctor and sent it to her. And so they leave, the doctor leaves the room. we hang up with my aunt. I'm in the room with my dad and his girlfriend's actually there too. And she's sitting over here. I'm sitting on the couch. My dad's on the bed. And he just slumps over and starts weeping.
And I've only seen him cry two times in my lifetime that I can recall. One of them was when his own daddy was passing, and then this time. And I just wrapped my arms around my big, tall, six three daddy as he wept and just was shocked. Like I just I I couldn't believe it that they had said that he had cancer. And
I didn't understand what that doctor was saying just yet, but he did. And it was real bad.
Stephanie (37:33)
Did that impression you had back at the rocking chair come into mind during that time?
Amy Eaton (37:40)
Mm. You know what's wild is in that moment not yet. But so that first night I stay the night with my dad, on the couch in the hospital room or maybe I can't remember we took turns. So
Yeah. so now I had gone, I can't recall, but anyway, so I'm on my way home to get that's what it was, he got released from the hospital. And I'm on my way ahead of them to get to a pharmacy because he lives in a small town in Florida and the pharmacy was going to be closing. So I had to hurry and get there before they closed to get his medicines that they called in. And I called my aunt on the way. So I'm by myself and he was with his girlfriend.
And my aunt is explaining to me. She was like, Hey, do you want Aunt Anne or do you want Doctor Anne?
And I was like, I want Dr. Ann. Like, what did they just say? And so she tells me and and she made sure I was ready. And I remember while I was making that 45 minute drive, trying not to get a ticket that
Stephanie (38:47)
Ha ha ha.
Amy Eaton (38:48)
I because I'm speeding trying to get there. And I told her, I was like, my gosh, Ann, you're never gonna believe this.
fourteen months ago, God told me that I didn't have a lot of time left with daddy.
And so we have this heart to heart. And she was like, Amy, I do believe you. And then we talk about some more things. But that was when it hit me. I'd been there the whole weekend from Sunday until Tuesday. And I didn't remember that moment in the rocking chairs until Tuesday on the way to after having heard this diagnosis, a few hours later getting released and rushing to pick up a prescription. and my aunt really explaining what I'd just heard.
Stephanie (39:31)
Right. When did you recognize that all of that work that you had done to heal and get yourself to a good place with what had happened? Did you think that that healing
was preparing you how the dynamics of your relationship was about to change with your dad.
Amy Eaton (39:58)
Hmm.
Yes. More deeply when I could come up for air later, but yes. his journey from being diagnosed to when he passed away was less than 60 days. So it was a whirlwind. We were we were rushing. I remember just miracle after miracle. like one time the first miracle we saw, and I mean there were many, but one that pops into mind right now was where
We got an oncologist appointment the very next business day, in Chattanooga, Tennessee. and it happened to have the only hepatobiliary nurse navigator in the state of Tennessee that worked at that location that was gonna help my dad, which is liver cancer nurse. So it was just like God was showing showing up and showing like, hey, I'm with you in this. so the Lord was helping me retrospectively see like, hey.
I'm with you, like remembering that moment in the rocking chairs, seeing him open doors, things like that. but as we went along, I was able to lean into those tools and things that I had learned to navigate in a healthy way. I was able to recognize, I need some help. So I actually signed up again for grief counseling because I was just processing a lot, navigating the cancer journey. I thought
Stephanie (41:12)
Right.
Amy Eaton (41:12)
I was that he was gonna live. I knew that he was advanced, but I thought he was gonna live at least three to five more years.
So I had started doing grief therapy, learning tools. but yes, the Lord really began to show me some between my conversations and prayer with him, but also like friends. I remember there was a text from a friend where I was talking with her, I was texting her, she's checking in and I wasn't being churchy, I I was being honest and I truly meant this. I was like, you know what? If if the Lord heals him.
I trust him. And if the Lord takes him, I trust him. We're going to be okay. I have seen God's hand in this that I know that we're not alone. And I'm just praying my prayer. Yes, I believe God can heal. And of course I want that. But my prayer, because she was asking me, How can I help you pray? I was like, My prayer is that you would pray that he would have peace. He's in such
Stephanie (42:05)
Mm-hmm.
Amy Eaton (42:06)
chaos. I can see it. I can sense it. I can experience it. And he keeps telling me that he senses peace around me. And I keep reminding him, Daddy, that's Jesus.
Can you just pray that he would be at peace with the Lord and that his soul would rest and trust that that God has him and that no matter what, he's gonna be okay. And I remember her being like, Amy, do you see what the Lord is doing? it was just like, my gosh, obviously it's him because you know me.
Stephanie (42:36)
Right. Right.
Amy Eaton (42:39)
This is Jesus. but it was
so powerful.
'Cause I was so at peace. And then when he started living primarily with us, he would go stay with his girlfriend a little bit too. But I was driving everything, taking care of his care, just helping him through everything that he needed. He would just look to me. It was almost like we flipped rolls. He would just
Stephanie (42:57)
Right.
Amy Eaton (42:58)
like not know what to do. And I would say, Daddy, do you want me to step in and help? Yes. And then I would just take charge. And so
it was wild how the Lord had purposely done this beautiful healing in my heart that I didn't know I needed.
and some of those rejection wounds were not caused by my dad. It was like my first marriage and things like that, some other things. But the Lord knew I had some bitter roots in my heart that needed scooped out because I was about to walk through something real hard. And he was not gonna leave our side. But if I was gonna walk through this healthy and in stuff with the Holy Spirit, I needed to get some rid of some of that junk and gosh, I'm so thankful.
Stephanie (43:37)
Right, right. one of the things I love that you said in our earlier conversation was God reminding you, I told you a year ago, and this is gonna be hard, but I'm with you and I'm with your dad. And so I thought that was beautiful
Amy Eaton (43:52)
Yes.
Stephanie (43:54)
to r have that little peace to go back to in your mind.
Amy Eaton (44:00)
Yes.
Stephanie (44:01)
what prompted you to
Go into the ICU before your aunts came in.
Amy Eaton (44:07)
Sure, sure. well I'll mention that moment too that you just mentioned as well, and then I'll share that one in case
Stephanie (44:13)
Mm-hmm. Okay.
Amy Eaton (44:15)
in case it's helpful for for somebody to hear. But my dad they had tried everything. They had tried radiation, they tried everything, and nothing was working, everything was blocked. So the one thing that they were gonna try, the last thing that was very risky was this big surgery where they were gonna try to remove most of the tumor.
And it was dangerous because they knew that he was very advanced. And Dad knew the risks and he wanted to try anything he could because the doctor was like, This is our our last chance to try something and it's risky, but I'm willing to try it if you want me to. So we go in at five o'clock in the morning, four thirty in the morning. It's five AM by the time I've gotten him checked in and I'm by myself in a quiet, cold, empty hospital cafeteria. And I just knew, like I knew
That things were about to get real hard. And I felt like the Lord was just telling me, hey, I've been with you this whole journey.
I made you aware of this a year ago that you didn't have a lot of time with your dad. And you're about to walk through some hard stuff. And I just remember just crying my eyes out. And as odd as it sounds, especially someone who won't cry in front of others, I captured a picture of my tears in that moment. And I was like, okay. And I just played this song on repeat. and it's it's still God by Anna Golden.
And it just I prayed that for hours on repeat as I just wept. I went and found a place to hide when people started showing up. And when
Stephanie (45:48)
Yeah.
Amy Eaton (45:48)
the doctor called me in and she started telling me, okay, Amy, it didn't go according to plan. I don't even remember half the stuff that she said, but basically she was saying the cancer is significantly spread. There was nothing we could do. He was really bad. we discovered some other things. we had to just, we had to abort.
And so we're in the hospital, and it was just I was more ready to be in that moment because the Holy Spirit is so kind to remind me evidence of just reminders over the last 50-ish days of where he had been there and even a year plus prior that it's okay. Because I was going through that by myself, I was alone in this hospital, and it was just, but I wasn't alone, like the Lord was with me.
Stephanie (46:34)
Mm.
Thank you for giving the whole story for that 'cause
Amy Eaton (46:42)
Sure.
Stephanie (46:42)
that that is such a beautiful testimony of how God
Amy Eaton (46:46)
Mm-hmm.
Stephanie (46:46)
can be there for us, even when we don't know. All
Amy Eaton (46:49)
Be so faithful.
Stephanie (46:52)
right.
Amy Eaton (46:52)
Yeah, so
faithful. But the ICU moment. So my dad had quickly transitioned to ICU. They had tried to care for him in the regular unit and they realized he's declining. And then he's in the ICU, and you can only have one person, two Macs in there as a visitor. And my dad's sisters were both in town and
His oldest sister was also battling a very rare cancer and was so weak. So of course I'm absolutely gonna get out of the way and let them visit. I'm local, they're not. The other sister, the middle sister, is from Memphis, so she lives far away. So I was like, I plan on letting them go in by themselves and daddy already knew
Stephanie (47:38)
Right.
Amy Eaton (47:38)
that. But I got to the hospital a little early, I always do. if you're on time, you're late, I'm married to the military.
And I felt like the Lord said, Go now. So if nothing else, I've learned to be obedient in in the different stages of my life. So I all right. So I went straight back there. And when I walked in, it's almost like I can still see it like a movie. This doctor is almost squeezing, touching my dad for a second with this just somber but comforting, but heavy.
facial expression and
walks out to, you know, let us be together. And I walk in and he's like, there's my wonderful daughter. And I was like, hey daddy. and he'd
Stephanie (48:19)
Ha ha ha
Amy Eaton (48:20)
been out of it a lot with all the medicines and stuff he was on, but he was very alert. And he just takes the sweetest time to tell me just the sweetest things. he just starts telling me how
perfect of a daughter I was. And I was like, Daddy, that's not true. No,
Stephanie (48:38)
Ha ha
Amy Eaton (48:38)
it's not. And he was like, you are. And and he just was just tell me I love you. And I'm just so proud of you. And then starts going into why are you so proud of me and and the things he's telling me he's proud of. he's saying that, I went around the world to share the gospel of Jesus Christ. And he's so proud of that. And I'm just about to bawl my eyes out. you know because my dad is
Speaking these loving, powerful things over me about how, and he would say sweet loving things, but there was something about this moment, and he tells me, I'm at peace and I'm okay, I'm ready to go. And Stephanie, I had been praying so hard with my friends saying, Can you just help me pray for my daddy to have peace? Can you help
Stephanie (49:25)
Okay.
Amy Eaton (49:26)
my daddy to have the peace of Jesus himself?
And what I hadn't shared in this conversation tonight is that I needed confirmation and peace that my daddy was at right with the Lord, that his
Stephanie (49:41)
Mm.
Amy Eaton (49:41)
heart and was at peace and secure with the Lord. And there was no question in that moment. he was telling me, I have made peace with the Lord and I am ready to go home. And you have been amazing to help me walk this journey. And I just I can't.
Stephanie (49:59)
Mm.
Amy Eaton (50:03)
Me thinking I'm failing at left and right when I'm trying the best I can and I can't save him and I'm just like I had like
Look at you telling me through my dad these loving things. And hearing that from my daddy was just
Incredible.
Stephanie (50:27)
Thank you for sharing that. Thank you.
And what a tender mercy from the Lord also to have that come at that moment for both of you to be at peace.
Amy Eaton (50:44)
Yes. It was so good. And to have that moment alone, 'cause what we found out was my aunt had checked and because my dad was considered end of life, they were
Stephanie (50:57)
Mm-hmm.
Amy Eaton (50:58)
shifting gears, you could have more people in the room.
So the fact that the Lord orchestrated this moment for me to be alone with my dad, to have that sweet, tender moment, how generous.
Stephanie (51:15)
Yeah.
Amy Eaton (51:16)
So generous, and I I was okay. Like I didn't need it. I was at peace with the Lord and I was at peace with my daddy. And even though I would sometimes get in my head thinking I'm not doing it good enough, I'm not fighting hard enough, I knew that I was. And I knew I'd given it every ounce I had. I knew that he had given it every ounce he had. And we you know, we were seeing miracle after miracle. We knew the Lord was with them. I kept reminding him, I was like, Daddy, that's Jesus, daddy, that's Jesus, Daddy. That's a miracle. Like the Lord
Stephanie (51:43)
Mm.
Amy Eaton (51:43)
is with you.
So then to hear him say those words was so beautiful.
Stephanie (51:50)
Mmm, I love it. I love it.
Amy Eaton (51:54)
Yeah.
Stephanie (51:55)
You'd quietly prayed for a chance to read scriptures over him. What happened when your aunt suggested that you read Psalm twenty three?
Amy Eaton (52:06)
Yeah. Well, we're in the room together and she said, how about we pray together? Amy, why don't you read some scripture? I was like, I have a Bible I mean we're by ourselves and all that. Okay. but I had been praying and intentionally trying to before this journey I had already been trying to memorize Psalm twenty-three. So I'd had that tucked away in my heart and
So that's the, you know, I pray over my dad and and that's the passage that I think of is to recite that verse. And I am reciting it and I'm going through the verses, and I get to the verse where it's supposed to say, you know, and even though I walk through the shadow or the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no
Stephanie (52:54)
Shadow there.
Amy Eaton (52:54)
evil. I blanked and I knew this verse.
inside and out, but I blanked I couldn't say it. And it was almost like I just couldn't say it. But my aunt, my other aunt, starts reciting it. And we say it together. And all three of us are reciting it. And she gets that one and we get back on track and we say it together and we have this sweet prayer time. And what was so sweet about that was I had literally just prayed. In recent days I was like God
How did we get to this point of this cancer journey? And I haven't even prayed with my dad. I have prayed over him and for him. And I have gathered with sisters in Christ to pray over him, but I have not prayed actively out loud with my dad. Please, God, just I'm so sorry. I remember apologizing and praying for that opportunity.
Stephanie (53:49)
Mm-hmm.
Amy Eaton (53:49)
And the Lord is so kind and so generous because
One of my aunts was like, Girl, I didn't know that scripture. I didn't know that. I don't know how I don't know how I knew that. That had to be in God because it wasn't in my mind.
Stephanie (54:02)
Yeah.
Amy Eaton (54:02)
So it was so cool that he did that too. he not only had the one sister say, Hey Andy, why don't you pray over us and read some scripture? And then help me remember, I've been praying over this one. And then my other aunt help us when I blank out. And what was also special was
Days later my dad had passed and and I had his phone. I found where he had taken pictures of Psalm twenty three. He had been reading it the day before he went in for that surgery.
So how sweet
of the Lord to give my aunt this sweet gift, my Aunt Bunny, my Aunt Anne this sweet gift, me the sweet gift, and my daddy to hear this
Stephanie (54:45)
All at the same time.
Amy Eaton (54:46)
that prayed over him when he had been praying and looking for peace in those verses just before he went into the scary surgery.
Stephanie (54:54)
God is so into the details.
Amy Eaton (54:57)
Yes. Every bit of
it. Yes. Well, my favorite verses is John six twelve, and there's different versions, but the Amplified Classic is my favorite. But it talks about where Jesus tells the disciples after he's fed the five thousand to go out now and gather up the broken fragments so that none may be wasted. And I
Stephanie (55:14)
Mm.
Amy Eaton (55:15)
think about that in every aspect of my life. And then in this story too, like there was not one single crumb wasted. He didn't waste a single moment.
Stephanie (55:27)
After your father passed, how did you hold that grief?
Amy Eaton (55:32)
Yeah. Yeah. It was just wild because like for sixty days, you know, you're just just about roughly you're just directing care. You're making decisions. You're trying to encourage people. You're left and right. Like it's just every ounce of my energy is all into that. And then suddenly all that energy has nowhere to go. And you still have all this love for this person that's suddenly gone.
And you can't pour it into them verbally or physically with service anymore. It's just it's all pent up and it's just it was it was so hard initially, honestly. I've gone through some really tough losses in my life. we've lost other family members in tragic circumstances. That shook me to my core and rocked me at my foundation like nothing I've ever walked.
As I was able to come up for air, I was able to still see it with gratitude then. I was able to look back and be like, God, this is so hard, but I can I can carry grief and joy in the same embrace. Because my granddaughter had just been born a month before my daddy died. So I was leaving just a few weeks later, about a month later after my dad passed to go overseas.
to this other country to meet her for the first time and to see my wonderful son and daughter in love. So it's this season of carrying this great heavy weight of missing my dad and being sad, navigating some anger. Cause I'm like, God, we were having so much fun together. It was just a good place in life. And and you know, I had to wrestle with and you took him and then to have to be like, no, no, Amy.
Remember how kind he was too like I had to just wrestle that out and be like, but you
Stephanie (57:16)
Mm, mm-hmm. Yeah.
Amy Eaton (57:19)
were so good. You were there every step of the journey. But then also have this immense joy at this beautiful grandchild that has entered our lives. And remembering how excited my dad was to FaceTime and see her the day she was born. it was it was a mix of things. There was joy in other parts of our family, but there in season, but there was also joy looking back at how kind God was. You know, two plus years earlier, he said, Hey, we're gonna go on a healing journey.
A year earlier he said, Hey, you don't have a lot of time with your dad, so let's be really intentional. And then suddenly I know in that moment to drop everything and run to Florida. my dad was in his 60s. He had other health events. There were not times in the past where I just knew in my spirit to take off and rush there right then. But I knew it was like over and over and over again, I could see the hand of God and the kindness of God. I just had to look for it.
Stephanie (58:11)
Amy, can you tell us about your book?
Amy Eaton (58:14)
Yes, I would be honored. So the the book that I released last year is called Hope When It's Heavy. And the subtitle is Trusting God is Good When Your Season Is Not. And I really talk through working through life, walking through life, and navigating it honestly. So
Being able to wrestle out your doubts, your frustrations, your fears, your confusions with the Lord, and to process that with Him. I personally have experienced in church cultures where it felt like you had to put on a face and you had to pretend that you're strong. You had to pretend you're okay. You had to power through. you don't have enough faith if you're if you're acknowledging
Stephanie (58:56)
Mm.
Amy Eaton (58:58)
how hard or heavy something is. And and that is not true. He made us with the
Stephanie (59:02)
Yeah.
Amy Eaton (59:03)
emotions he's given us, and he
He wept himself when his friend Lazarus died. he gave us the example. He himself said, My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? He himself said, God, if this cup could pass, I don't want it. he wrestled it out. Jesus himself, countless people all throughout the Bible did the same. So what I talk through is, yes, walking through really heavy hard grief, like losing my dad, but also the small everyday things too that add up.
navigating loneliness and change, how we can be honest with God and with others and walk in a healthy way and to authentically be able to see his goodness and trust that he's good, even when things in our lives are not. So that that's my book. And then a fun story I like to share about Hope When It's Heavy is that the cover is a painting that my aunt had painted and gifted my dad.
When he was in the hospital for that surgery that I mentioned, it had just been his birthday a few days prior. And she had asked them, Okay, Bill, do you want mountains or the beach? 'Cause he she's a painter. He's crazy about her art. His other sister was a painter too. he was crazy about my Aunt Ann's art and how skilled she was. He would talk about it all the time. So he told her he wanted a mountain scene. Which is really special because I love the mountains.
And my dad
loves the
Stephanie (1:00:32)
Mm.
Amy Eaton (1:00:33)
beach and he knew how much I love the mountains. And I'm gonna reach over here
and get this book. so it was sweet that he said that, but she brought in this beautiful mountain painting. And I asked my aunt if I could use that on the cover of the book, since it was a picture of hope to us in a heavy season, because my dad told her it looked like
Stephanie (1:00:49)
Right.
Amy Eaton (1:00:50)
home when she brought it in.
and now it's in my entrance of my home. when you come in and sit in the living room, it's right there where anybody can see.
but but this is the the cover of it and that beautiful mountain scene that brought him
comfort and a sense of home while he went through that and then also blessed us too.
Stephanie (1:01:07)
That is beautiful. Thank you so much
Amy Eaton (1:01:10)
Yeah, thank you.
Stephanie (1:01:12)
for sharing that with us.
let's say there's someone listening to this episode who also has some traumas or experience with unresolved hurt with their parent, what would you want them to remember from your story that could help them without necessarily promising any type of outcome, but what could you give them to give them more hope, I guess.
In Christ.
Amy Eaton (1:01:47)
Yeah. Stephanie, I would say, seek first the kingdom, first of all. seek first the kingdom of God, seek the heart of Christ like seek God first. And I am a huge, huge proponent for holistic health, including mental wellness, emotional health.
So if you've never walked a therapy journey, I highly recommend it. Be scrutinizing about who you partner with, who you're allowing to go into your mind and your heart and help you untangle things so that they're guiding you in healthy ways. Make sure you're aligned as you know, same faith that you're both Christians, you both have that same orientation. But I would say seek first the Lord, seek that soul health, seek also holistic health so that.
You can thrive. I think about John 10, 10, where, Jesus says that the enemy came to steal, kill, and destroy, but I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. he wants to destroy the enemy. He doesn't want him to have any kind of authority in your life or in your mind or in your thoughts. And he wants you to live life now and live it abundantly. So I would say that first. And then I would follow up with, do the work. Navigate what your therapist is helping you navigate, what the Holy Spirit is teaching you through scripture and participate in this healing journey and do your part. But keep open hands. as you pray, I would pray open prayers because
You're not guaranteed that there's going to be a reconciliation. Maybe your story's harder than mine. Maybe you had a a family member, a parent who was ill-intended, was selfish in a cruel way and not in a just a free-spirited, unintentional way. that's really hard. And I'm so sorry that you're having to navigate something like that. I would say that nothing is too difficult or complex or tangled for the Lord.
To be able to heal and untangle and to pray with open hands because Jesus is our prize. Jesus is where our heart should be focused. And if all the Lord had given me was the gift of being able to walk in a healthy sense and to live lightly and to walk in the light of God's love and light and not carry these shadows of hidden bitterness or anger. Man, that was enough. It truly was enough. I was so thankful. And that was such a gift. And I would be present in what the Lord, in the journey that the Lord has for you. And ask him to help you see him in your story. Ask him to help you see his hand because he is working. He's always
Stephanie (1:04:35)
Mm-hmm.
Amy Eaton (1:04:36)
working.
And maybe you're having a hard time seeing it, but if you ask him to help you, from personal experience, he will show you where he has been faithful.
Stephanie (1:04:46)
Yes, thank you, thank you, thank you. It has been such a joy to talk with you again and I'm so glad we got a chance to do the interview and thank you for joining us today.
Amy Eaton (1:04:59)
Thank you so much, Stephanie. Truly an honor.
Stephanie (1:05:06)
Amy, thank you for trusting us with this tender part of your story and for reminding us that God's preparation doesn't always make sense while it's happening. Sometimes he begins uncovering and healing something in our hearts long before we understand why.
And sometimes only when we look back can we see how faithfully he was preparing us to love, serve, forgive, or endure what was ahead.
Amy's healing didn't require her father to become someone different. God changed what Amy was carrying. He helped her separate her worth from another person's availability, love her father without denying the places that had hurt, and receiving the time they still had as a gift.
Her story doesn't promise that every relationship will be reconciled or that God's gonna always warn us before loss. But it does remind us that no wound is too tangled for him, and that his presence can be found even in a season that remains deeply painful.
If something in Amy's testimony touched an unresolved place in you, you don't have to force an answer today. Begin by bringing that place honestly before God. Ask him to show you where he's working and what the next faithful step might be.
You can learn more about Amy, her books, and the resources mentioned today through the show notes. You can also find this episode's companion page at gloryandgritpodcast dot com. If this conversation encouraged you in any way
Please share it with someone who might need that reminder that God can be working in their story before they can see what He's doing.
Right? thank you for listening to Glory and Grit. I'm your host, Stephanie. And thank you so much for joining us today. It's really nice to see you.
Until next time, my friend, keep looking for glory and keep walking with grit.
Bye now
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