Glory & Grit : Season 2, Episode 3 - When Grief Doesn't Get the Final Word
- Glory & Grit
- Aug 24
- 25 min read
Show Notes:
Summary
Stephen Ongo on Loss, Trust, and Finding Joy Again
After 25 years of marriage, family life, and ministry together, Stephen Ongo lost his wife, Susan, suddenly.
At first, Steve describes feeling almost numb while the people around him grieved. But as the shock wore away, the weight of the loss became increasingly difficult to carry. Eight months later, after hearing his daughter ask when the pain would ever end, Steve reached a breaking point.
He had questions for God. He had anger. And he admits he was only a hair's breadth away from turning away.
Instead, he chose to lean in.
In this episode of Glory & Grit, Steve shares the deeply personal experience that followed, why Isaiah 53:4 became meaningful to him, and how he came to understand his own journey through grief.
He also shares one of the most tender moments of the conversation: telling his daughter that being free from overwhelming pain didn't mean he had forgotten Susan. He could remember and honor the life she lived without allowing the pain of her death to become attached to every memory of her.
From there, Steve faced another question: Who was he now?
His journey eventually led to unexpected joy, remarriage, a deeper understanding of his identity “in Christ,” and renewed purpose in ministry.
Key Topics
The shock and reality of sudden loss
His choice to lean toward God when he could have walked away
The dream Steve believes changed the trajectory of his grief
Remembering Susan without attaching every memory to pain
Rebuilding identity after losing a spouse
Allowing joy back into life
Steve's later study of what it means to live “in Christ”
Takeaways
Grief deserves room and does not follow the same timetable for everyone.
Trust can exist even when answers do not.
Becoming stronger does not require forgetting the person you lost.
A changed life can still contain joy.
God can work with the broken pieces we place in His hands.
About Stephen Ongo
Stephen Ongo has served in ministry for more than 40 years, with a particular passion for Christian discipleship and helping believers move beyond simply gaining information toward experiencing transformation in Christ.
Following the sudden loss of his first wife after 25 years of marriage, Stephen entered a season of profound grief that ultimately deepened his understanding of his identity “in Christ.” That experience led him into an intensive study of Scripture and became the foundation for much of his subsequent discipleship work.
Stephen went on to develop the seven-themed **In Christ Discipleship Course**, along with books, audiobooks, Bible studies, and other resources designed to help believers better understand and live from their identity in Christ.
*** Connect with Stephen***
In Christ Discipleship Course, books, audiobooks, and other resources:
Stephen's seven audiobooks are also available through participating audiobook platforms.
***A Gift for Glory & Grit Listeners***
Stephen has generously offered a **free audiobook** to up to 20–25 Glory & Grit listeners.
To request yours:
1. Visit **inchristcourse.ca**.
2. Go to the **Contact Me** page.
3. Send Stephen a brief note sharing how his Glory & Grit conversation touched your heart.
4. Stephen will send you a Spotify promo code for **one free audiobook of your choice** from his seven available audiobooks.
This offer is available directly from Stephen while his promotional codes remain available.
Continue the Conversation
This week's Companion Page asks one central question:
Can I trust God even when I never get an answer to “why?”
Use the Companion Page to reflect, pray, and choose one small act of trust for the week ahead.
Transcript:
Stephanie (00:00)
Sometimes the hardest part of loss isn't only what we've lost, it's figuring out who we are afterward.
After twenty five years of marriage, Stephen Ongo suddenly lost his wife, Susan. In the months that followed, his grief grew heavier, and Stephen found himself facing questions about God, trust, and what his life could possibly look like now. Today, Stephen shares the experiences that changed the direction of his grief.
he learned about trusting God without having all the answers, and how unexpected joy and purpose eventually found their way back into his life. This is Stephen Ongo's story.
Stephanie (00:58)
Stephen, welcome to Glory and Grit. I'm very happy to have you here today. I'm looking forward to sharing your story with the listeners.
Stephen Ongo (01:07)
Well, Stephanie, it's a privilege to be with you on your podcast, Glory and Grit, and I'm looking forward to our conversation.
Stephanie (01:15)
Thank you, thank you. So before we get started and talk about the season where everything changed for you, I want the listeners to know a little bit about Susan, who she was and what she was like. So can you tell us about the life that the two of you had before?
Stephen Ongo (01:33)
Sure.
we were married for twenty five years and we had two children, a boy and a girl. And we were in ministry together. I was a Pentecostal minister for twenty five years and we pretty much did everything together and I I called Susan my scripture police.
Stephanie (01:51)
Yeah.
Stephen Ongo (01:52)
she she would know w not only the verse but the address and
And if I slipped up she would let me know where it's from. So she was really a a woman of the word. Yeah.
Stephanie (02:07)
I love when you when you say that she was a scripture police. That is so awesome. Well
Stephen Ongo (02:12)
Ha ha
Stephanie (02:15)
What happened that changed everything?
Stephen Ongo (02:18)
Yes, absolutely. Well, like I said, we were married twenty five years and it's it's amazing, Stephanie, how your whole life can take a tailspin in just one day. And we were you know, pastors and of course pastoring a small church and it was it was generally a normal life. thentwenty eleven on March the thirty first, was our fateful day that is forever etched in my memory, when my whole life turned upside down, where Susan took a seizure. some it used to be called a grandmal seizure, but now I believe it's called clonic tonic seizure.
And it really took her life. It was it was fatal. It was tragic. It was sudden. we we didn't really see it coming. she only had a cold sore and that was being taken care of, you know, b by prescriptions. However, she was fifty two and I was fifty three. and we had a son in university.
Grant and our daughter nineteen who was at home with us and one one day, you know, she she was here and the next moment she was gone. It was it was just sudden. And I that that terrible phone call that I had to make was just something I'll never forget, where I had to call my son in university in the middle of his exams and
Stephanie (04:06)
Right.
Stephen Ongo (04:08)
tell him
that his mother died and and it was horrific. I I just can't tell you how horrific that was and I could hear the scream on the other side and the the sigh of processing the whole thing. We had to have him come home in the middle of his exams. but the professors later on were very gracious. They said you you come back and take your exams when you're ready.
We understand. So
Stephanie (04:39)
that's awesome
Stephen Ongo (04:41)
yeah, it's good good teachers, especially
Stephanie (04:43)
Right.
Stephen Ongo (04:44)
when something like this happens, right? And so you know, it's interesting. the Bible talks about bearing one another's burdens.
Stephanie (05:00)
Mm-hmm.
Stephen Ongo (05:01)
and I I used to say that a burden that is shared is half a burden and joy that is shared is double joy.
but I never really realized, Stephanie, what that scripture entailed bearing one another's burdens, because for two weeks after Susan passed, I was in maybe what some would understand as shock. it didn't really settle in. It it it seemed surreal. And
people would come to me and they would hug me and they would say, I'm so sorry for your loss. So sorry for your loss. Some of them would cry on my shoulders, most of them would cry on my shoulders,
Stephanie (05:51)
Mm-hmm.
Stephen Ongo (05:52)
but I was feeling nothing. I was feeling nothing. It was like they were talking about someone else.
Stephanie (06:00)
Right.
Stephen Ongo (06:01)
And I I c I come to realize that this is shock, you know, shock can last for a little time. And
Then the Lord showed me something. he said, When it happened, I took that burden from you and I spread it out over two hundred people. And they
Stephanie (06:20)
Awesome.
Stephen Ongo (06:22)
they carried the burden for me for two weeks. And then the Lord would let it settle, but not all at once, because that's crushing. He would let it settle a little bit by little bit, like you know, the peeling of an onion, so to think.
so to speak, until it started to become real. Real to me.
Stephanie (06:44)
Mm-hmm. Right, right.
Then you started to process it yourself.
what happened when that shocking feeling and the numbness of processing it all, what happened when you had to finally sit down and deal with the realities of losing her, like when it really hit you?
Stephen Ongo (07:11)
Yeah, and like I said, it it it was a bit of a process, but when it really settled, it was really painful. And it's been said that losing a loved one is equivalent to some as losing a limb and and sometimes losing a limb would be more preferable than
Stephanie (07:34)
Mm-hmm.
Stephen Ongo (07:35)
the pain of losing a loved one. And
It was it was getting painful. My daughter was at home, like I said. So it was my daughter and I processing and she was feeling the pain too. Now I come to learn that grief, of course, is God given thing. It's natural. We grieve when we lose somebody that we love. So it's God's process of, you know, when when you marry somebody, the two shall become one.
And so
the loss of a person it's like ripping apart of yourself. It's it's the oneness coming apart. And so you're gonna grieve. That's natural, it's God given. But you do get stronger and and one of the the words that someone said to me during my my grief is that you will get strong again. It's sort of like this is not the end of me. I'm gonna get strong again.
but at the at the beginning of it it it it was getting really painful. I'd cry about eight times a day. you know and it'd be very hard to function, you know. Function so I can I can understand. I used to be as a pastor, ironically, I would say to people, I'm sorry for your your loss. You know, somebody would lose somebody. I'm sorry for your loss. And I never really understood grief until I personally went through it. And then
Stephanie (09:10)
Mm.
Stephen Ongo (09:13)
I have a whole new perspective on on grief and and mourning and when somebody loses, it's a process they need
Stephanie (09:22)
Right.
Stephen Ongo (09:22)
to go through, but they do get stronger. And
Stephanie (09:26)
Mm-hmm.
Stephen Ongo (09:28)
so let it settled in it it started to get a very
abnormal at one point where it wasn't just grief and now I couldn't make the distinction because this is my first time going through something so painful. I couldn't
Stephanie (09:52)
Right.
Stephen Ongo (09:53)
make the distinction of what's normal grief and what's abnormal. And we were going down the road, my daughter and I were going down the road to about eight months after the passing of my wife and it wasn't getting better we weren't getting stronger we were getting worse and the pain was at a point for myself and I believe my daughter too that I would just rather join her just to take away this pain it's terrible
It was taking me into the dark places. I was getting depressed and oppressed and and I knew that I should be somewhat functioning. I was able to go to work and function, but d you know, when I got alone it it was it was just unbearable. So it was one night that changed everything. Just like one night, changed the the trajectory of your life. my daughter asked me a question and she she said, Dad, when will this pain ever end? And
Stephanie (11:22)
Mm.
Stephen Ongo (11:22)
I don't know if you've ever heard that from your own child
When will this
Stephanie (11:29)
Yeah.
Stephen Ongo (11:30)
pain ever end? And I did not have an answer for her. And that was as gut wrenching as as going through the pain myself. I did not have an answer for her.
Stephanie (11:44)
Right, because as much as you're in pain, you know it hast to be be double for her.
Stephen Ongo (11:47)
Yes. I mean she lost her mother at nineteen, right? And so I remember going up to my bed and and and wailing, just just wailing, just letting it out. and crying out to God and saying, God, right now y there's a lot of emotions that are going on so you'll understand when I say, God, I served you for twenty five years
And this is what I get. You know, I was really
Stephanie (12:20)
Yeah.
Stephen Ongo (12:21)
pouring it out. and
Stephanie (12:24)
This is
the thanks I get.
Stephen Ongo (12:27)
Yeah, this is the thanks I get. And I I I remember saying to God also that I I don't know anything right now, God. but I know that you're close to the brokenhearted. And right now that's who I am. I'm broken hearted.
Stephanie (12:47)
Right, right.
Stephen Ongo (12:48)
And I tell you, Stephanie, I don't know if you've seen a hair how thin a hair is.
That's how thin it was for me to either lean into God or to say, forget this. Don't want
Stephanie (13:00)
Mm.
Stephen Ongo (13:01)
to have anything to do with you if I get this. I was that close. I I made the decision saying, I don't understand this, but I'm leaning into you. I leaned into God. And sometimes
Stephanie (13:14)
I is that what made you choose to lean what made you choose to lean into him more, even though you didn't understand what was happening?
Stephen Ongo (13:27)
Well, i like I said, it was a hairline decision for me.
Stephanie (13:31)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Stephen Ongo (13:33)
I I could have gone either way. One part of me was angry and this is what I get. And the other part and someone said this to me, which really kind of resonated, is that we will not find God in the why. We'll only find God in the trust. And I really like that.
Stephanie (13:53)
I love that.
Stephen Ongo (13:56)
And so I knew something inside of me. I could ask a hundred questions and I probably won't find God there. But I did feel really deep down and God saying, take my hand in this and I'll take you through.
Stephanie (14:10)
Right.
Stephen Ongo (14:11)
And so I leaned in. I leaned in. And that night, Stephanie was what I call a God dream.
Stephanie (14:22)
Yes. I want to talk about that.
Stephen Ongo (14:22)
And
yeah, it was one dream that when you call it a God dream, you don't forget it, it doesn't, you know, dissipate
Stephanie (14:34)
Uh-huh, uh-huh.
Stephen Ongo (14:35)
in the morning, it's with you for forever almost.
Stephanie (14:38)
Right.
Stephen Ongo (14:39)
And I remember in the dream, a God showing me a snake. and he said that snake i conveyed to me i i in my mind I guess that that snake is a spirit of heaviness and it's trying to squeeze the life right out of you. And a
Stephanie (15:03)
Whoa. Describe to us what
you heard and what you saw as you were going as you were having the dream before you tell us how you interpreted it.
Stephen Ongo (15:15)
Well, somehow I I don't believe God spoke it, but I believe it was conveyed to me that the snake was wrapped around my normal grief because
Stephanie (15:24)
Mm-hmm.
Stephen Ongo (15:25)
I had a hard time, like I said before, distinguishing what what is normal grief and what is abnormal grief, which is a spirit of heaviness because I didn't know it until that point. and he showed me that's a spirit of heaviness wrapped around your normal grief.
And it's trying to squeeze the life right out of you. That's exactly how I felt. I felt like the
Stephanie (15:47)
Mm-hmm.
Stephen Ongo (15:47)
life was being squeezed out of me. And and I felt that, well, this is what people go through when they grieve.
So the Lord showed me that in a dream. He showed me that snake, but then he also showed me Isaiah fiftythree four a scripture in the dream that he bore our grief and our sorrow.
Stephanie (16:12)
Mm-hmm.
Stephen Ongo (16:13)
And that he was afflicted by God, we we saw him afflicted by God. And and when I saw that scripture, I remember myself asking in the dream, Lord, isn't that redundant?
If
Stephanie (16:26)
Yeah.
Stephen Ongo (16:27)
if Jesus bore my heaviness and my grief and my sorrows, then why am I burying it? And
Stephanie (16:33)
It's already paid for.
Stephen Ongo (16:36)
it's already paid for. And when I awoke that morning.
God's honest truth, I was free. I was absolutely free. All the pain
Stephanie (16:48)
Free.
Stephen Ongo (16:50)
and sorrow and everything had left. It lifted. And
Stephanie (16:57)
So that ex that
experience helped you understand how you were processing grief and how that heaviness that you were referring to, that's how you understood what was happening and how God was helping you to release that grief.
Stephen Ongo (17:17)
That's right. That's right, because the Lord showed me some spiritual dynamics in the in the dream and he also showed me his word and he also showed me what Jesus did when he went to the cross. He took
Stephanie (17:31)
Mm-hmm.
Stephen Ongo (17:31)
our pain upon himself. And even me questioning that was the revelation I needed to have. so
Stephanie (17:39)
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. So what happened when you woke up?
Stephen Ongo (17:44)
so
Now the great part is when I woke up I was free, free, free. All the pain was
Stephanie (17:49)
Mm-hmm.
Stephen Ongo (17:50)
gone and I that was the first remarkable thing I I had to say, Hey. Hey it's gone. I don't feel the heaviness anymore. I don't feel and I I had incredible joy. It's like he he restored the joy of my salvation.
Stephanie (18:06)
Mm-hmm.
Stephen Ongo (18:07)
And if you've ever seen the movie Scrooge, it's
Stephanie (18:10)
Mm.
Stephen Ongo (18:10)
like
You know, the night after the visitation, he's jumping on the bed. Did I miss Christmas Day? and I felt it. I I just I just couldn't get over what the Lord had done in one night. So I bounced down the stairs. My daughter's in the kitchen preparing breakfast, I believe, and I said, Hey, I'm free. I don't have any more pain. And she was offended.
Stephanie (18:40)
that broke my heart hearing that. Yes.
Stephen Ongo (18:43)
Yeah, but she said the words, have you forgotten my mother already? And instantly the Lord gave me a first download. No, I haven't forgotten her, but the pain is no longer connected to her memory.
Stephanie (19:01)
Mm. So when you told
Stephen Ongo (19:02)
Now
Stephanie (19:03)
her that, what did you mean by that?
Stephen Ongo (19:08)
I meant that to one point i it's a bit deceiving, but when we remember someone who has passed on, we sometimes remember them with pain attached. Because we forget that they had an entire life to live, but the
Stephanie (19:30)
Yes.
Stephen Ongo (19:31)
pain is attached to that one moment that that we we've missed them and they've passed on.
And we've attached, we've anchored that pain to their entire life, to
Stephanie (19:43)
Mm-hmm.
Stephen Ongo (19:44)
their legacy, to who they are. Now, Susan was a wonderful person and she and she had love for people and God's people and there's a life to be celebrated, let's say.
Stephanie (19:55)
Right.
Stephen Ongo (19:56)
There was a life to be celebrated, and to really always remember her in pain would almost be dishonoring, and
I knew that
I knew Susan the way that I knew her, she would not want me to remember her in pain every time I remember her. And so the Lord showed me when I was responding to my daughter, hey, I can still remember your mother and still honor her and honor her memory, but I don't have to do it with the pain attached. And it took my daughter a little bit more of a process to go through.
And I even went to grief counseling with my daughter. And I gave her six sessions. The grief counselor said for me she wonders why I'm coming. I'm not showing any signs of grief. so
Stephanie (20:49)
Right.
Stephen Ongo (20:50)
so but my daughter I I allowed her to go to six more sessions with the grief counselor to process the grief part of it. But I was watching her
To see that that spirit of heaviness wasn't settling in, that little deceptive spirit. I was watching very carefully.
Stephanie (21:08)
Right. I remember
something
Stephen Ongo (21:10)
Yeah.
Stephanie (21:10)
else that you said when we talked previously. You said that when you are when two people become one and one of them is gone for whatever reason, it leaves you wondering, okay, who am I now? So what did rebuilding your identity look like for you after that?
Stephen Ongo (21:36)
Mm. Yes, that's a very real reality. two shall become one, the Bible says when we're married, and that is very real. I mean, your your husband or your wife can finish your sentences, I'm sure.
Stephanie (21:49)
Yeah.
Stephen Ongo (21:50)
You start something, they finish it, or in the case now with my my wife Claudia, we you know when we're each are gonna call each other if we're away from each other at the same time, we I was about to call you. You know, that kind of thing. So
Stephanie (22:04)
Mm-hmm.
Stephen Ongo (22:06)
the two do become one. And so when one is out of the picture or one dies or one passes on, there is a shift of identity. Now who am I without this person in my life, right? And that's a very
Stephanie (22:23)
Right.
Stephen Ongo (22:24)
real thing. And so about so there was a season there for about five months
I had to ask who is Steve? Who is Steve? and I read in the scriptures about about Saul who's persecuting the Christians. and when he was on the road to Damascus, he was blinded by a light and I think he was on a horse, he fell off his horse, it doesn't say. But
The Saul that got up off the ground was not the same Saul who fell down because there was no more selfish ambition, there was no more rage, there was no more of who he used to be. He was a brand new creation. And
Stephanie (23:16)
Right.
Stephen Ongo (23:17)
it started then, but Saul, who then became Paul, had to learn who is this new guy? I don't even know who I am anymore.
And he had the new nature, but he was on a road to finding out who Paul was now. That's what happened to Steve. Steve was on
Stephanie (23:38)
Right.
Stephen Ongo (23:39)
a road to finding out who is this fellow without Susan. And so it was about five months down the road of of learning this freedom, of having this freedom, but not really knowing who I am.
that the bible says that weeping may last for the night, but joy comes in the morning. So my joy came and her name was Claudia and she shared like tragedy. she lost her brother in a fire and
The story goes and she tells it when we're together, she tells it that she was able to lead him to the Lord one week before she lost him. And that was amazing.
So she came from that tragedy, I came from another, and when we would get together, there was a tremendous joy, just a tremendous joy that we couldn't put our finger on. It wasn't me telling jokes or being funny, it was just overflowing joy that's like the Holy Spirit was stamping this
Stephanie (24:53)
Alright.
Stephen Ongo (24:55)
couple
And and w there was no other explanation. That Holy Spirit had to stamp on it
Stephanie (25:00)
Right.
Stephen Ongo (25:00)
and said, I'm happy with you two. And and and we had that incredible joy that came into our relationship.
Stephanie (25:12)
I remember that you said in our first conversation that you almost wondered if it was illegal to have this much joy after you had gone through the earlier seasons. why do you think you felt like it was so complicated at first?
Stephen Ongo (25:32)
Well, it it's interesting because people that come through the loss of a loved one may go through a little bit of a season where they feel, is it legal for me to laugh again. Is it is it okay for me to be happy again? Is it okay for me to smile again? because I have I have come across people where they have felt that they laugh and then they go, I shouldn't I I'm I'm grieving you know and so they're
Stephanie (26:12)
Mm yeah.
Stephen Ongo (26:15)
they're they're back. They feel that, you know, maybe
Joy is, you know, not what I should be feeling. But I I questioned it when I w when I met Claudia, especially when I met Claudia, why am I
Stephanie (26:29)
Mm-hmm.
Stephen Ongo (26:29)
feeling so happy right now? I'm happy with this person. And and she was happy with me. And and it was just the fact that I think we have God's stamp on this, you know? And it's it was a a beautiful thing and and yeah, it just transpired that way. just past July, Stephanie we'll be we just celebrated our fourteenth wedding anniversary. So this yeah, so we're so we we
Stephanie (26:56)
Yay! Congratulations!
Stephen Ongo (27:02)
never thought, I guess during that kind of experience that I'd be in ministry again and and Claudia coming through a different experience never thought she'd be in ministry again, but today we ha we are in ministry serving the Lord, loving God. And it's it's a beautiful experience
Stephanie (27:20)
You have already been in ministry or a pastor for twenty five years. During that season and after, what do you realize that you had been teaching but you hadn't quite been living?
Stephen Ongo (27:38)
Yeah, yeah, that's true. and there comes a point where, in the scriptures the word gnosis is not just knowledge, it's experiential knowledge.
Stephanie (27:53)
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
Stephen Ongo (27:55)
and we can we can teach from the scriptures and we can do bible studies over it and we can talk about the word and discuss about it and debate. but until you experience it then then at that point the word becomes living living in you. It's not
Stephanie (28:13)
Mm-hmm.
Stephen Ongo (28:14)
it's not a fact that the word is not alive, but is the word alive in you? That's that's the transition. And
Stephanie (28:21)
Right, right.
Stephen Ongo (28:22)
and for me, I have to share about two years after Claudia and I were married, the Lord gave me another download and it came almost the same way. one night I woke up with two words in in my mind, and the words were in Christ. In Christ. And so they were so strong and burning inside of me, I had to find out what what was Paul talking about being in Christ? What was all that about? And when I studied it, I gave myself to a whole year, Stephanie, a whole year, as as
Stephanie (29:01)
Mm.
Stephen Ongo (29:02)
a pastor, as a man who loves the word of God, what
What was Paul doing and what was he talking about? And I learned that nearly two hundred times Paul uses those two words in Christ and derivatives of it, like in him, in the Lord Jesus Christ. and what was he saying? And some theologians called it Paul's magnificent obsession. And so when I started studying it for a whole year, it became my magnificent obsession. Because there is
Stephanie (29:32)
Ha ha ha
Stephen Ongo (29:34)
so
So much, so much connected to those two words. Every blessing, every prayer, everything is found in Christ. And when I gave myself to it, the Lord just kept downloading revelation after revelation after revelation, and it was beautiful because I was experiencing it the same time I was studying it, and out of it came seven audiobooks, twenty-eight books,
Forty nine sermon outlines, forty-nine Bible studies. It was just phenomenal that
Stephanie (30:09)
Right.
Stephen Ongo (30:10)
the Lord revealed that. I put it on my site if anybody wanted to see in Christcourse dot ca just to see. I've got a lot of samples there for people to listen. And Stephanie, if if you find some people that you want to give the course to, I'd be happy to to give the course to help that way because I really want that I call it a discipleship course that's come out of my tragedy, that I want as many people that I can share it with as possible, right?
Stephanie (30:46)
Right. That's very generous of you, Stephen And we'll put that on the website for people.
Stephen Ongo (30:54)
yeah.
Stephanie (30:58)
yes.
Stephen Ongo (30:55)
Share a story. I'd love to hear fromit Yeah. Yeah.
Stephanie (30:59)
We will also have all of Steve's information on the website so that whenever you hear this podcast, you'll be able to go click on this links and go check out all the study guide study lessons and the books.
jump
back for a second to
Stephen Ongo (31:17)
Sure.
Stephanie (31:18)
When you did the in Christ study, what did that teach you about yourself after
Stephen Ongo (31:25)
Mm.
Stephanie (31:26)
your season with what happened with Susan?
Stephen Ongo (31:31)
That's a very good question. it just what I think initially it revealed to me and which was beautiful, was that Christ was with me every part of my journey.
Stephanie (31:47)
Mm.
Stephen Ongo (31:49)
Even in the grief. that I was not alone and I shared, remember the time we're saying, Well, God, I don't understand and I can either lean into you or he was with me and he was holding my hand and he was prompting me, you know, trust me, trust me, like I said, God is not usually found in the why, he's found in the trust. And
Stephanie (32:16)
Right.
Stephen Ongo (32:17)
it was God that led me into the trust. I said, Okay, God, I don't understand, but I trust you that you know what you're doing in this and I didn't know back then
Stephanie (32:28)
You might have a little experience.
Stephen Ongo (32:31)
Yeah. I think everybody can relate to sometimes the why question is not readily answered. There's so many whys. I shared preaching
Stephanie (32:43)
And you can get so caught up in that why.
Stephen Ongo (32:47)
Yeah. the Y can take you and steal your future.
That that's right. And don't let the why steal you from your destiny. you have a destiny
Stephanie (32:57)
Yes.
Stephen Ongo (32:59)
that God has. And if we can get through or over the why and get to Lord, I I don't understand, I admit, I don't understand everything here, but Lord I'm trusting you. and you know that you're gonna you're gonna turn this for good. It's interesting, God will take your broken pieces, no matter what they are, as long as you commit them to him, and he'll turn it for your good. All things work together for good. And here's another one for
Stephanie (33:30)
Right. For your good.
Stephen Ongo (33:33)
them who are in Christ Jesus. You know. Yes.
Stephanie (33:36)
In Christ. And I think sometimes when I would wanna ask why, why, why I think sometimes we forget that, well, how else are you going to learn to trust him if you don't have experiences that force you to put your trust in him? So why? Because you need to learn to put your trust
Stephen Ongo (34:00)
very good.
Stephanie (34:01)
in him. And you're not doing it on your own.
Stephen Ongo (34:03)
Very good. That's right. I so many times, Claudia and I can see that the Lord is building someone's spiritual muscle because you know, God can give us a promise or or a prophetic word or something, and as soon as the first bump in the road comes, we go, I I'm out. it's not for me, it's too hard, right? And
Stephanie (34:27)
I'm out.
Stephen Ongo (34:30)
and I always saw that
A word or a promise from God is like throwing your puck on the ice and and the game has just begun. Now you're gonna have to play and you're gonna get some opposition from the other team. But you know, sometimes having that opposition or that bump in the road doesn't mean that that's not the word for you. That means that it is the word for you and you just gotta, you know, you gotta have to get some fortitude to see it through.
Yeah now.
Stephanie (35:02)
That's
right. That's right. That's awesome.
What is something that you would want people to remember after this podcast?
or if there's someone out there who's listening right now who's lost someone or going through some type of loss, what is something that you would want to tell them to uplift them and to give them hope?
Stephen Ongo (35:35)
Absolutely. Well, I would first say that honestly from my spirit to theirs that I truly am sorry for their loss. I truly am sorry for their loss. I can identify coming from that. I truly, truly am sorry for their loss. grief is a process and I respect that. that some it takes a little bit longer.
but that you will get stronger again. That's the good thing. It it's like this week you might cry eight times a day. Next week you might cry six times a day. But you are getting stronger day by day.
Stephanie (36:24)
Mm.
Stephen Ongo (36:25)
that the scripture that Jesus bore it all, you can turn to the Lord and know that I know, that I know, that He took everything to the cross. He took everything to the cross. And He did it, that He became we became the righteousness of God in Christ, you know that that that He took our sin
And we took his righteousness, he made that divine exchange on the cross, and that he has a destiny, he has a purpose for you. one thing with a testimony, and I've I've shared this before, Stephanie, is the word testimony means do it again. Did you know? Do it again, Lord.
Stephanie (37:14)
No.
Stephen Ongo (37:16)
So every time we share our testimony through the pain and through the valley and then through the the victory, the same power that delivered you then never gets lost when you share your testimony. It's still locked in. It's still there. And
when you share your testimony, if someone says like you did today, we said, you know, I received that.
The moment you say I receive that, you'll have the victory I have. You'll have the victory I had. And so many people go from victory to victory by listening to people's testimonies and saying, I need that. I want that. I want that victory in my life. And that's that's because when God does something miraculous or supernatural and he tucks it inside of your testimony, that never dies. It never dies. It's there.
Stephanie (38:17)
Yeah.
Stephen Ongo (38:18)
every time you share it. And I just want I just want your your listeners to know that no matter what they've come through, broken whatever, that if you give it to God, he will turn it for their good and turn it into a testimony. And when you share it, someone else is going to get a healing, the same healing that they experienced. That's a beautiful thought, isn't it? It's a beautiful blessing.
Stephanie (38:46)
That is a wonderful thought. thank you so much for sharing that. I won't always think of that word with more special reverence now, testimony.
Stephen Ongo (38:58)
Yes, yeah testimony, yes.
Stephanie (39:01)
Stephen, thank you so much. I appreciate you being a guest on Glory and Grit and for your generosity and for sharing your Hi Claudia.
Stephen Ongo (39:12)
Hi Claudia. This is my beautiful wife, Claudia, a joy.
Hello, Stephanie. Hi.
Stephanie (39:19)
Hi. We're very excited to
have him. Thank you so much for helping him.
Stephen Ongo (39:24)
I'm excited for him. God has
Stephanie (39:26)
Ha ha
Stephen Ongo (39:27)
a great way of redemption and restoration in our lives.
He's very excited to share it and very excited with the revelation that the Lord gave him. So it's so good to be able to share it with our brothers and sisters. that they too may be encouraged. That you know, seems final sometimes, but it's not.
Stephanie (39:43)
Yep.
Stephen Ongo (39:46)
Thank you, Stephanie.
Stephanie (39:47)
you're
right, she is a joy.
Stephen Ongo (39:50)
She's a joy. She's a joy.
Yes. The Lord is good.
Stephanie (39:55)
All right, Steven. Well, thank
you so much for joining us today.
Stephen Ongo (39:59)
you're welcome.
Stephanie (40:01)
What Steve said about the why really stayed with me. We won't find God in the why. We'll only find God in the trust. Maybe you're carrying a why of your own right now. You don't have to pretend that it doesn't hurt. You don't have to rush your grief.
And trusting God doesn't mean you suddenly understand what happened. Sometimes trust is simply choosing to keep holding his hand when you don't have the answers. And I love what Claudia said right at the end of our conversation,
Something can seem final when it isn't. Maybe that's the truth you need to carry with you this week. The chapter may have ended. Something may have changed forever. But God may not be finished writing your story.
You'll find information about Stephen, his books, his In Christ discipleship resources in the show notes at gloryandgritpodcast.com. Along with this week's companion page, I'm your host, Stephanie. Thank you so much for joining me today. Until next time.
Keep looking for the glory and keep walking with grit. Bye now, my friend.
Comments